Saturday, February 28, 2015

Ten Steps to Brighten Your Life by Alfred A. Montapert

1.   Begin the day in a calm and cheerful mood; say “This is going to be a good day; I will be calm and cheerful today.”
2.   Try smiling at others. A smile is contagious and you will feel better as others smile at you.
3.   Count your blessings-list them one by one. Did you ever realize the real wealth you have.
4.   Enjoy the day with beautiful thoughts, pleasant memories. Live life one day at a time.
5.   Be adventurous. Try walking, and see new neighborhoods, new buildings, and parks, new scenery.
6.   Give a friend a phone call or write a letter. Tell him you were thinking about him, encourage him. Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.
7.   Be a happy person, see the bright side of life. Having a cheerful, loving attitude lends itself to your best health.
8.   Do a good deed, or give something beneficial to a loved one.
9.   Give of yourself, offer your services to a hospital, to a church; help people. The law of giving will reward you tenfold.

10.                     Do the best you can each day. You are really living only when you are useful and constructive.

A Letter from Mom: A Story

Dear Robert,
I just had to slip this small letter into your cap and gown; I knew you would find this before graduation tonight. Son, I won’t make this letter long. I’ll just tell you what is on my heart. It almost saddens me to realize that my little boy has finally grown up. As I write this letter, I can hardly hold back the tears. I know I will soon lose you to college.
Your father would be tonight if he could only see you walk down the aisle, and receive your diploma. Son, Think of me as a loving mother that did the best I knew for you. As a young boy, you’ve handled well your problem of hyperactivity. No one would guess you’ve had this problem.
The death of your of your father and grandparents could have shattered you to pieces, but you’ve withstood it all well. You’ve also brought much happiness into my life. I will never forget all the good times you and I have shared together.
Son, don’t you worry about how you will make it through college. Jesus has helped you through thirteen years of school. He can surely give you the strength for four more years. I can’t be anymore proud of you than I am now. Remember to write or call me when you’re at Bob Jones.
Love and Prayers,
XXXXOOOOXXXXXOOOO
Mom
P.S. Remember Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”


Note:  I was eighteen at the time I wrote this for a contest at Northside Christian School (5/82). This piece received a “special honor” ribbon. This piece has been edited for readability.

Heaven: A Guide for Travelers by Marcelle Price

·       ·       Accommodations: Arrangements for first class accommodations have been made in advance. “In my Father’s house are many mansions…I go to prepare a place for you.” (John 14:2)
·       Passports: Persons seeking entry will not be permitted past the gates without having proper credentials and having their names registered with the ruling authorities.  “There shall in no wise enter into it anything that defileth…but they which are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.” (Revelation 21:27)
·       Departure Times: The exact date of departure has not been announced. Travelers are advised to be prepared to leave at short notice.  “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in His power.” (Acts 1:7)
·       Tickets: Your ticket is a written pledge that guarantees your journey. It should be claimed and its promises kept firmly in hand.  “He that heareth My word, and believeth on Him that sent Me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation, but is passed from death unto life.” (John 5:24)
·       Customs: Only one declaration is required when going through customs. “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” (Romans 10:9)
·       Immigration: All passengers are classified as immigrants, since they are taking up residence in a new country. The quota is unlimited. “They desire a better country, that is, an heavenly…for He hath prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11:16)
·       Luggage: No luggage whatsoever can be taken. “We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.” (I Timothy 6:7)
·       Air Passage: Travelers going directly by air are advised to watch daily for indications of imminent departure. “We which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.” (I Thessalonians 4:17)
·       Vaccination and Inoculation: Injections are not needed, as diseases are unknown at the destination. “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain.” (Revelation 21:4)
·       Currency: Supplies of currency may be forwarded ahead to wait the passenger arrival. Deposits should be as large as possible.  “Lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.” (Matthew 6:20)
·       Clothing: A complete and appropriate new wardrobe is provided. “He hath clothed me with garments of salvation. He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness.” (Isaiah 61:10)
·       Time Changes: Resetting of watches will not be necessary to adjust to any day/night schedule. “The city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof …there shall be no night there.” (Revelation 21:23, 25)
·       Reservations: Booking is now open. Apply at once. “Now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” (2 Corinthians 6:2)
·       Coronation Ceremony: The highlight of the journey is the welcoming reception and coronation which await each new arrival. “There is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love the appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:8)

v All verses are given in the King James Version.

An Almost Friend: A Story

Recently, Roland spoke with his friend from Selma, Alabama, via Skype. Thomas has been married for twenty years, and has two college-aged sons. He wanted to talk with Roland about a church-related issue.
Thomas thought he was friends with the Youth Director (Marley) in his church. Other than a casual hello on Sunday mornings, the only time Thomas hears from Marley is when the Youth Director needs something.
Several of Thomas’s friends have verified the same kind of treatment from Marley. Several of them have told Marley “no” to his requests. It’s been at least six months since Thomas has heard from the Youth Director.
Marley seems to never be available when Thomas needs to talk to a friend about what’s going on in his life. Both his texts and voicemails either go unanswered or delayed for whatever time period Marley sees as reasonable. Marley had some awful behavior (supposedly Christian) that made Roland feel cheap and used as a parishioner.
This was a feeling Roland did not like because he’d never felt it before. Roland wandered if he’d ever treated people in his church this way. He thought the answer was “no.” He hoped he was remembering correctly.
Thomas knows Marley is busy with three young children, the youth group, and on-line college, but we all make room in our schedule for what is most important (see Overwhelmed).  It seemed like Marley was making excuses for his impolite behavior. Thomas wanted advice on what he should do.

What would you do? Should Thomas break ties or keep the friendship? Can Thomas expect Marley to give him something in a friendship that he is unable to provide? (Can a leopard truly change its spots?) Is this really a friendship in the true sense of the word? Is Marley co-dependent on the generosity of those in his church to do the work the church is paying him to do? 

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Ø Through Ross Laboratories


Nobody’s Friend

My name is gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody’s friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. I am called GOSSIP. Office gossip, shop gossip, party gossip, telephone gossip - I make headlines and headaches. Before you repeat a story ask yourself, is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not-SHUT UP!

Told You So

The whole experience left me total flabbergasted. I had been warned this could happen at my workplace by one of my leads (seethe post All the Way). This story actually began when I left my workday several hours earlier with one of the store’s walkie-talkie that are used by the utility workers. It’s a way for the lead on duty to communicate with the utility workers outside.
After picking my wife from work (and dropping her off home), I decided to return the (accidentally-stolen) walkie-talkie to the store, and do a big grocery trip as well. I ran into an old friend (along with her children) that used to attend a church my family was members of what seemed like a lifetime ago.
I was in street clothes at this time. (Even my store jacket had no emblem on it that would have identified me as an employee at the store). The only thing that could have possibly connected me with the store was the walkie-talkie that I had not yet returned.
Several minutes into a conversation, a man in his seventies comes up makes eye contact with me. I am then asked where the cocktail sauce is. I nicely tell the man I am not on duty. The walkie-talkie made him think I was. Regardless, that I was not in the store uniform. My friend was shocked with whole situation. We both pointed in the direction of grocery.
As I was doing my grocery trip, the story my lead told me of her experience ran through my mind. She’d been with her husband (in street clothes) on a shopping trip. A customer had recognized her, and though she was on duty any time she was in the store. According to my friend, her husband had not been happy with the intrusion on their time together. Like me, it was easier to help the customer than try to explain why you could not.
Have you ever been in an irritating situation? You knew what should be done, but there were no rules that said you were required to act in any certain way. How did your circumstances turn out? Did you manage to keep anger or sarcasm at bay?

Times like these when you are completely surprised and not at your best give a very accurate picture of who you are. Are you labeled as “calm” or “a hot head”? Whatever you are is this how you want the public to see you? If not, better do some changing. 

The Motion

Anytime I hear the above song by Matthew West, the chorus tends to linger in my brain, and travel down to my heart. See what you think.
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me

I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything
Instead of going through the motions?

For a long period in my life, I’ve been “going through the motions” as this song describes. I’ve never felt competent enough to be the Christian, father, or husband my immediate family wishes I was. Sometime the best I can do is to make it through another day.
Two of the career “what if’s” I’ll always wonder if I could have been successful at were a journalist with a major newspaper or an elementary school teacher with my own classroom.

Right now, I’m at a point in my life where neither one of those are an option career-wise. Does the above chorus describe you? In your life, what can be done to change it?

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Yes We Can!

In 1976, Kellogg’s ran the above campaign, and chose to put the pictures and biographies of various historical figures on their most popular brands of cereal. Here are the words and pictures of the three cereal box panels of Betsy Ross, Daniel Boone, and Clara Barton I’ve kept since I was twelve or thirteen (a long time ago).

1776 was a time of doubt and fear for Americans. We were thirteen separate colonies struggling for our independence from England, the most powerful empire in the world. Our founding fathers knew the efforts would fail…unless the colonists united for the common goals liberty and free democracy.
We needed a symbol of unity. The story is told of how George Washington visited a young seamstress named Betsy Ross in June of 1776. He asked her to make a flag. Betsy sewed to together thirteen white and red bars for each of the colonies. In the upper left-hand corner she added as many stars against a blue field to represent our new union.
The flag joined Washington’s troops in their march to victory. It flew proudly above our first capitol. It moved west with the settlers through unknown wilderness. And finally, it crossed the heavens to the moon.
Today, the legend of Betsy Ross stands for individual patriotism… just as the flag stands for unity and democracy. It’s our responsibility to prosper from their meaning…for the good of mankind.

For Daniel Boone, pioneer America was a great adventure. His restless love for the outdoors lured him into a forbidden wilderness of fierce animals and unfriendly Indian tribes.
Heading westward from the Carolinas in 1775, Daniel found traces of a path that Indian warriors used for centuries. He forged it through the Cumberland Mountains and deep into Kentucky. There, at the end of the famous Wilderness Trail, he established the settlement of Boonesborough.
Daniel was taken prisoner by the Shawnee Indians three years later. Threatened with death, he challenged his captors to tests of skill and courage. He proved himself so worthy that Chief Blackfish adopted him into the tribe.
What Daniel learned from Indian wisdom aided him in protecting fellow pioneers from Indian attacks. One day Boonesborough was stormed by 400 warriors. Daniel, along with only 30 men and 20 boys, held them off and saved the village.
Boone’s America was a turbulent frontier. Yet he had the grit to dare the unknown so others might follow and thrive there. For those like Daniel Boone who are meant to lead…a thousand new American frontiers await you.

They called her the “Angel of the Battlefield.” During the Civil War, Clara Barton treated hundreds of wounded where medical care was scarce. The battles ended in 1865, but not for her. There were innocent victims of other disasters in need of emergency assistance.
While doing relief work during and after the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-71, Clara became impressed with the work of the International Committee of the Red Cross, promoter of the first Geneva Convention of 1864, which protected wounded soldiers. She returned to the United States in 1873 to begin the task of creating an American Red Cross Society. But her program met with resistance from government officials who did not wish to enter into any entangling alliances, even humanitarian ones.  Finally, after eight years of struggle, Miss Barton founded the American Red Cross in May, 1881, and became its first president.
During the next twenty-three years, Miss Barton and her fellow Red Cross workers assisted victims of many natural disasters, such as the Ohio-Mississippi Flood of 1884, the Johnstown Flood of 1889, and the Galveston Hurricane of 1900. She went to Cuba in 1898 during the Spanish-American War to give comfort and relief to American soldiers. Her efforts proved that a nation cannot flourish only by sharing triumphs. It must also share the tragedies. As Clara Barton found the strength to aid hundreds who suffered, so might you in your own way…. And help preserve the greatness of America for all the generations to come.



At Day’s End by John Hall

Is anyone happier because you passed his way?
Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?
The day is almost over, and its toiling time is through;
Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you?
Can you say tonight in parting with the day that’s slipping fast?
That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said;
Does the man whose hopes were fading, now with courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day or lose it? Was it well or sorely spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness, or a scar of discontent?
As you close your eyes in slumber, do you think that God will say,

“You have earned one more tomorrow by the work you did today”?

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

My Tribute to Jim

My friend, Jim Kinker, died a few days ago. After the initial shock of the news died down, we’ve had some time think about what Jim’s life has meant to each one of us. Jim never lived his life to be seen. He didn’t go out of his way to draw attention to himself (except when choosing a different car). He never sought the limelight, yet his life had a unique influence upon each one of our lives. We are different people for having known Jim. We are better people.
Whenever someone dies unexpectedly, we have the tendency to do two things. First, we think of the person who’s gone as some sort of perfect person. One who never said a cross word to anyone, paid his bills on time, voted Republican, and kept a spotless home. We all know that Jim wasn’t that man. He marched to his own drum his whole life. He wanted you to like him, but if you didn’t that was your problem, not his.
Our other tendency is to mourn in a rather selfish way. We think “How could he leave me like this?” We think more about our own loss than about our friend who is gone. I think this is easy to adopt in this case, because in many ways Jim was on the periphery of our lives. He was a very selfless person. His personality didn’t demand us to attend him. He could take care of himself. He was available to help us if we needed help, but he wasn’t always the first one we thought of.
Jim had the greatest mannerisms in the world. He could make a simple comment and it would be funny.  You could count on him to do even the most mundane thing in a unique way. It’s difficult to describe, but Jim could even adjust his glasses in a way that no one else could.
When Rob asked me to do this, I wondered whether I was really qualified to speak on Jim’s life. Surely there are others who knew him better than I did. Surely someone who grew up with him would be better suited to say a collective good-bye for us. I still don’t feel qualified. How can anyone adequately sum up a man’s life, short-lived though it was, in a few minutes? It can’t be done. It shouldn’t be done.
We live our lives as though we are afraid of the future. Disease, illness, calamity, disaster wait just around the corner for us, we’re sure of it. I don’t think Jim lived that way. Each day held promise for him. There was something good waiting down the road, if he could just hold on to the wheel. Jim had more than his share of life’s pains, but he lived with the realization that his life was in God’s hands. He wasn’t passive about life like many of us are. He did the things that were important to him. He actively sought as much control over his life as he could have.
So how, now, to say good-bye, Jim has already seen his dad. He’s met his Lord, personally, finally. He’s probably still learning his way around the streets of gold and confused by all the cleanliness.  He’s free now from the constraints people place upon themselves. He doesn’t know pain or suffering anymore. I know I’ll see him again. Our sure hope as believers in Christ is that one day we will all be raised from the dead. We have to wait a little while, just the blink of an eye, and we’ll be reunited.
“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Given by A.J. Farley
Tuesday, March 3, 1992
Funeral of James Matthew Kinker


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

For the Birds

It was the spring of 2014. My seventeen year-old daughter, Allena, was dealing with a problem she never could have foreseen in twenty years. During the day time, a Robin was repeatedly crashing into her bedroom window. The body thumping could be heard all over the house. For a young lady with noise sensitivity issues, being in her room during the daytime was undesirable.
The Robin thought its reflection in the window was another predatory bird. By hitting the window repeatedly, the robin hoped to eventually damage (or kill) its enemy. It was unsuccessful again and again. Removing the bird’s reflection with paper, soap, or flower decals did not work as the professionals suggested. The next morning the Robin started up again.
During the middle of this bird obsession, we discovered our Robin was a female with a nest it was protecting. This would be the reason Mrs. Robin was pretending to be a kamikaze pilot with Allena’s window. Eventually, the noisy Robin issue ceased, and her babies left the nest.  
Life can throw for a loop with what it gives you at times. Like my daughter, you’re thrown completely off guard and wondering why you have to deal with this stuff. You can get through anything you have with the Heavenly Father’s assistance.

Pictured is Mrs. Robin and her babies in the lilac bush outside the pecking spot on Allena’s window.

Substitutions Allowed

After I finished college in the eighties (see The World’s Most Unusual University), I spent two years substitute teaching in various school districts close to where I lived at the time. From the onset, substitute teaching is not an easy job. I admire those special individuals as a prequel to teaching, or also as a regular career.
For those of you who may not know, a substitute teacher is brought in when the regular teacher (for any reason) cannot teach her class. Before the regular teacher exits the school, she is to leave lesson plans for the substitute teacher so that learning can proceed at a normal rate with as few interruptions as possible.
To many students, a substitute teacher equals free fun day. Even though I was the adult in charge, I was immediately at a disadvantage. The students knew the teacher’s regular routine, and how to disobey it if necessary. How would you feel going to a different work place every day. The unique adult that does this job has to embrace change on a regular basis.
Though most of the students were well-behaved, I always learned the names of the trouble-makers first. (I always had no problem leaving a note of both horrid behavior as well as students that were a joy to be with.)
 I never quite figured out how I was to teach the rest of the class while a few went to the bathroom. There were always a few boys that found it entertaining to swing from the bathroom stalls.
Two of my saving graces (if lesson plans were finished early, or I was fed up with the kids) were an extended recess, or a quiet time for me to read to the group. (I had my own scary Tales from the Weird Zone books that were guaranteed to silence and calm any fidgety kid.)
My best times as a substitute were when I got the opportunity to spend more than a day with the students. The month long assignment resulted in lots of special memories as well as student lives I was able to positively affect. The other positive memory I have of this time period is that I was indirectly responsible for getting one of my young students (and her sister) out of a physically abusive home.
Though it happened in the years leading up to my Lymphoma, the couple of hours I was given each week to volunteer for ColumbusReads for a school nearby gave me a one-on-one connection with both kindergarten and first graders that were having reading problems.
This program was tailor-made for me as I love having children read to me. I enjoy even more having them answer questions that show how much they remember from the book.

If you are considering a career as a teacher, this is a great profession that gives you the ability to make positive changes that will last a lifetime. All careers have their challenges, but if you enjoy being around boundless energy; lots of laughter; curious minds; and being present when an idea clicks in a young mind; instructing as an educator was made for you. As always, pray about it for a while.

Ask and Receive


My very colorful senior mother, Janice Zarbaugh, has been the subject for many of my blog posts, Miracles by Mom, The Slip, A Modern Day Naomi and Ruth, and Family Repetition. Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV) says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
On a recent Saturday afternoon (around 2pm), my mother decided to put God’s promise to a test. In several hours, she would be having her daily coffee and talk time with her group of friends at the combination Tim Horton’s/ Wendy’s nearby. In February of 2015, heavy, deep, snow covered everything including her car and the sidewalk leading up to her home.
Fighting with the snow seemed to be more than my mother wanted to deal with. Her warm home seemed much more inviting that the frigid Ohio climate. As almost a challenge to God, my mother uttered, “If you want me to the group today, please bring along someone to clear off my car and remove the snow on my sidewalk so I can get to my car safely.”
Soon after the prayer request was uttered, the neighbor across the street decided to clear off the snow on my mother’s car as well as the driveway leading up to her house all out of the generosity of his heart. It should be noted this neighbor has never done this before for my mother. He also did the same kindness for the neighbor to the right of my mother.
I’m sure this neighbor had no idea he was an answer to prayer. After that, my mother decided God was “making a way” for her to get to the group.
Have you ever had any answers to prayer requests similar to this? It’s not all by chance. The Heavenly Father hears you 24/7. Talk to Him soon.


Monday, February 23, 2015

Completely Covered

How does it feel when you find out someone has been praying for you? Emotions like surprise (that someone cares), gratitude (to God), unworthiness (why me), protection (in the midst of trials), and happiness (that I’ve been heard) are typical.
It only takes two people praying in Jesus name for Him to be in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). No matter what the situation. Prayer can eventually change any event (or person) towards God’s mindset. Praying to God requires no impressive oratory skills.
 Try talking to the Heavenly Father (or plead if necessary). Just the way you would with a good friend sitting at a local café. The Almighty desires you to have a personal relationship with Him. (Isn’t that amazing the infinite with the finite?) He wants to hear about your joys, fears, anger, or any other emotion that enters your mind on a given day.
You may be the kind of individual that enjoys worthwhile Christian novels. Would you find what occurs in the spiritual realm when one prays, an interesting topic? If so, be sure to read these two books by Frank Perretti, This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness (the sequel).

As usual, the option to participate in prayer is completely up to you. You have unlimited supply of power at your disposal. Use it. (Think of it as one big mega battery.) There is also the option of handling everything on your own without the assistance of God. That choice dooms one for failure. Why would you want that? Think about it. I know you’ll make the correct option.

Life Plans

If you’ve ever built a new house, you know the prudent thing to do is to make sure that the bank is willing to lend you the money that’s needed to build (and finish) your home (Luke 14:28). That analogy is a lot like a person’s life. Are you the type of person that has your life all planned out. This could include things like your career path, marriage and family, and retirement. (This list is not exhaustive.) You are rigid about your “life plan.”
On the other hand, maybe nothing in your life or future has ever been planned out. Instead you prefer to deal with your existence as it happens. Changes are made as is needed. Neither one of these extremes is the right way to go. A combination of both attitudes can result in what is needed.
You are the author of your own life story. You are the only that can be its editor in a new and different ending. Does this scare or empower you? There are books and professional counseling services that can assist you to reach the desired outcome. The work may be hard. The results are up to you. This goal is achievable if you want it bad enough. By the end of this process, you will be better person.


Sunday, February 22, 2015

Fatherhood Unannounced

The responsibility of fatherhood takes most men by surprise even when they know it’s going to happen in nine months. Men are not really educated very well in how to deal with the rush of love when they hold their newborn daughter (or son) in their hands. How does all this work when the following scenario happens? Who has what responsibility?
Two adults in their mid twenties (Jason and Ramona) have a one night sexual fling. Eventually, the young lady comes up pregnant (as verified by a doctor). She decides to keep the baby, and not notify the biological father as there was no emotional attachment.
The single mother raises the female child to adulthood. The daughter named, Cindy decides one day to look for her biological father. She finds him. He is completely surprised.
The above situation probably happens more than anybody realizes. As you might guess, I have definite opinions about the above scenario. I’m sure Ramona made what she thought was the best decision for her and Cindy.
Even if Jason and Ramona decided not to marry, Ramona disrespected him as a man by not giving him the ability to experience fatherhood. Even if Jason wanted to have nothing to do with Ramona, he would have at least known Cindy existed. Though Ramona wanted to do this all on her own, Jason possibly would have helped out financially if he had only known.
If you are a single female that finds yourself in “the family way.” Make sure you let the father know. After all you didn’t make this child on your own. Whatever you choose just remember the Heavenly Father cares a great deal for you and your unborn child. He’s got your back (for sure).


Cat Sense

Anyone that owns a pet is aware of what they can teach humans (see the posts Ideal Communicators and The Dog Days of Robert). In Living Happy: Insights from a Blind Cat by Peter W. Cat (available through Amazon.com), a cat who has dealt with a former abusive home, losing his claws, abandonment, and eventually blindness, has learned to be cheerful, have a positive attitude, and adapt to life’s ever-changing circumstances (find new ways to do old things).
A good example of this would be how this blind feline gets around the home he lives in. Peter White Cat. follows along the wall to find out where He’s at. When needed Pete, a survivor, often uses his front paw as a cane when changing from surfaces like carpet to linoleum.
If you watch someone who is physically disabled it always amazing how they’ve learned to adapt to the environment around them. My question is how are you adapting to the life around you? You can be miserable, and bemoan to all those that surround how awful your life is. If a cat can make needed life changes, why cant you?
Thank God you still have life. Positively deal with the cards life has dealt you. It may not be fair, but it’s all you got. If you improve your attitude, your existence will seem brighter. As always, the choice is up to you.


Father’s Love

In the movie, Jack Frost, there is a heartwarming song by Bob Carlisle about the love of a father for his son called Father’s Love. The chorus of this song goes like this:
There is no power on earth like your father’s love
So big and so strong as your father’s love
A promise that’s sacred, a promise from Heaven above
No matter where you go always know
You can depend on your father’s love
Did you have a father like this? The word “God” evokes a variety of emotions in different people. You relationship with Heavenly Father is closely associated with how you connected with an earthly father (or father-like figure).

A poor relationship with Dad can carry over to a bad connection with the Almighty. The opposite of this (a good paternal connection) many times proves itself to be true with a positive and honest way one connects with the Creator. It’s important for you to know just how much Jesus loves you. It pierces His thoughts as you read this

Father Adoration

The Bible says quite a bit about the topics of worship and music. Here are two of the more popular scripture verses: Psalms 100:1 says, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.” (KJV) God cares little about the sound that comes out of one’s mouth as long as their heart is in full worship mode.
His desire is for everyone to get involved in some form of worship. Whether it is exemplified in art, sewing, writing, or instrumental playing, worship (or adoration) to Himself is what the Heavenly Father desires.

Psalms 150:3-6 says, “Praise Him with a blast on the trumpet, praise by strumming soft strings; Praise Him with castanets and dance, praise Him with banjo and flute; Praise Him with cymbals and a big bass drum, praise Him with fiddles and mandolin.”(MSG) God enjoys variety in instruments and worship styles. (Notice the dancing mentioned in this verse.) So the next time you are in church service, listen and look for the worship variety in music (and human posture) that is all around you. 

The Spoken Word

Have you ever thought about the power of words? It makes no difference whether they are spoken or written? Think of how the words from a taunting bully or a reassuring parent can affect a person long into their adult life. Monetary recognition at work, insight from The Bible, or a kind e-mail from a friend can sometimes breathe fresh encouragement into a weary soul.     

Have you ever noticed the words to the worship music at a Sunday morning service? The themes may vary from God’s grace to His holiness to Jesus death on the cross. Worship music can often be the inspiration for  a needed life change

My Resolution

Traditionally, New Year’s Day (January 1st) is when the world makes resolutions that could involve things like weight loss, being a nicer person, writing a book, or attending college. In the Christian community, commitments of more consistent Bible reading, church attendance, or prayer time are often made. Others never make New Year’s Resolutions (or plans in general) as they seem to be a waste of time that never comes true. Without some kind of plan for your life, your unplanned efforts are due to fail (or crash and burn, Proverbs 29:18).
Recognizing small triumphs in reaching the larger goal you wish to achieve in the future is the most practical method to use.  Remember, “life is a marathon; not a sprint.” Slow, steady, and correct always reaches the goal as opposed doing it wrong at the speed of light. Why do a step in your goal twice when you can do it once? With God’s help, you can plan to make this year, one of success.


The Battle Plan

When children are young, parents teach them what to do if a stranger grabs them, or if there is a house fire. (Children are given a plan by their parents.) How many adults have a plan for when the Devil comes knocking in the area of temptation. Temptation can come in the face of junk food, alcohol, a person (you need to avoid), excessive shopping, or a myriad of other things.

An effective battle plan might involve separating yourself from the temptation either emotionally or physically (just like Joseph in Genesis 39:11-12). What is causing you to constantly give in to this temptation? God can help you discover it (Psalm 139:23-24). Do not keep what tempts you within close proximity. With God’s help, make plans to give temptation the boot.

The Mess of a Lifetime

Do you know of someone that always seems to be “flying by the seat of their pants (or dress)?” Very little of what they do has anything resembling an organized plan. To your great irritation, somehow their unplanned messes seem to always work out perfectly like it was meant to be that way.

What can be learned from someone like this? (Remember, every life has a purpose.). Don’t be unprepared. Always make plans, but don’t set them in cement. Be flexible with the circumstances of life as they come. If your goals don’t happen, adjust yourself, and make new resolutions. Keep growing as a human being by enjoying every aspect of the life God has graciously bestowed on you. 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Wedding Gown

This is one garment that has a great deal of symbolism behind it. The gown is visible sign that tells everyone present at the wedding that this couple desires to spend their life together with love. Though they are two individuals, they have chosen to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7).The person in this dress is no longer a little girl. She has finally become a woman.

For the father of the bride, this garment means their will be another prominent person in her life. Dad will have to share center stage with someone else. The bride’s mother may look at the wedding gown (and the happiness of the moment), and think of grand kids in the distant future.

As you know wedding gowns come in a variety of prices. There are also an assortment of wedding reality shows that represent all the drama in the process of gown choice. Wedding gowns come in a mixture of sizes and colors.

The traditional whit gown is among the most popular in bride selection. That color at one time stood for purity. Very few first-time brides today have kept their virginity. (This is a fact and not a condemnation.)

 I’m not quite sure how to interpret the very pregnant bride in pure white. It seems like a bizarre contradiction to me of the original symbolism behind this color. I have no idea what “white” means for today’s modern bride. Do you?


In the long run, those that truly love you want the best for you. Your shortcomings are unimportant. All that lies ahead of you is the possibilities for a bright future. With the help of your Heavenly Father, your future is controllable.

The Snow Blaster 3000

In the fall of 2009, I was battling cancer (and undergoing chemotherapy). The thought of possibly not being around for my family horrified me. (I was 46, my wife was 44, and my daughter was 13) With the winter quickly approaching, I made a foolish financial decision. On credit, our family purchased what I will give the fictitious name “The Snow Blaster 3000” snow blower. 
It is the newest and greatest in snow removal. Many years later, it’s extremely big and bulky, hard to start, difficult to move out of the storage shed, and is only used when the snow is too hard to remove manually with a snow shovel. Currently, we have no idea where the key is to the storage shed to get it out in the bad weather we are now having in February 2015.

Have you ever made a choice out of your fear? (Your common sense took a back seat.) How did that work out for you? In the end, did you regret the results you got? I John 4:18 (MSG) states, “There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear…” The choice is yours. Help is available out there if you want it. It might take some research to find it. It is out there. Enjoy God’s blessings as you work out of a foundation of love. Fear just won’t make the grade any more. 

Friday, February 20, 2015

Bird Food

One of the more pleasant aspects of my job as a Utility Worker is the break I often get from pushing carts to loading a customer’s store purchases into their vehicle. The one-on-one interaction with a store customer suits my personality well.
I just love the chatting between the two of us, the physical exercise of putting their items in their car, and sending them off with a blessing, command, or both. (Have a great day. Try to stay warm.) I feel great after these breaks. I must be doing something right because several customers have tried to give me monetary tips, which I can’t take according to store policy.
I was called to assist a heavyset woman (in her mid forties) on a motorized cart in the pet department. (One place I rarely go in aiding a customer.) Since, I don’t know her name; let’s call her, “Rayne.” After loading three very large bags of bird food onto her cart, I helped her pick out the right toys (to be filled with catnip).
By now, it has been at least twenty minutes since I’ve been outside pushing carts. Hopefully, someone is outside helping me. Of course as I’m smiling and being friendly, the heavy winter clothing in this warm building is causing a lot of sweat anxiety.
Rayne is here from Canton, OH, to visit her sister. Supposedly, our store chain does not exist in Canton. At the self-check out, I scan her purchases, and slide cash into the machine, and give her the receipts and change. Shortly after that, the car is loaded and the two sisters are headed to wherever central Ohio sister lives so they can both enjoy all the birds. To make matters even more interesting, this was the same day, the hot chocolate debacle happened (see the post All the Way).
By the way, someone was working on my carts for me. I think this customer definitely puts me in the realm of going “above and beyond.” How often are you willing to go the “extra mile” even if their might not be any recognition for it? It really takes very little (unlike the above) to make someone’s day brighter. If you look for an opportunity, you will find it.

 

   

Overwhelmed

Have you ever heard the following quote (or something similar to it)? “You make time for what is important to you.” Have you ever thought of the truth of this statement? Think of it this way, the next time someone says to you, “I’m to busy to help you.” What they are actually saying is “I have other duties in my life that rank higher than your request. I am so sorry.”
I am all for prioritizing one’s life for optimal efficiency. The reason a person is too busy with work is because that is important to that person for various reasons. That is a top priority to them. Whatever you value the most (like material things, family, exercise, pornography, or your pets just to name a few) will determine what you make time for in your life.
Read Matthew 6:19-21. This passage will give you a true idea as to where your priorities should be. So the next time you hear someone is completely overwhelmed; it’s because that person has chose make everything a main concern.
As you know that can lead to lot’s of stress or a nervous breakdown. Learn to say, “no.” That one word can save on lots of doctor bills, and eventually become one of your favorite words (and friend).

           

Snow Rage

I heard the above phrase on the show, Inside Edition. It’s real all right, and is defined on the Internet as “rage brought on by all snow storm related things.” I am not writing this post to defend snow rage one way on the other, but I can understand it.
One can only imagine all the issues that would lead to snow rage. They might include transportation issues, weather difficulties, school cancellations (for the kids), and the list could go on.
Of course, people like me are really never happy with the weather. In summer, I am so hot I want coolness of the winter. In winter, I am so cold I wish for the heat of summer. In the autumn, I want spring here so the leaves will stop falling. In spring, summer needs to get here soon. It’s a dizzying “circle of life.”

So the next time this term comes up, you read it here first. If you wait long enough, everything will eventually change. That’s a guarantee. No matter what the weather, have a marvelous day.

All the Way

It was a normal work day for me. On this winter morning the temperature was in the negatives. I was excited to find out my favorite lead (call her “Chandelle”) was on duty. Hot cocoa and donuts (from Tim Hortons) had been provided, and were in the janitor’s room. I finally took advantage of a quick heat break. (All the Utility Workers been advised to do this throughout this blustery day.
Though the donuts were fantastic, the cocoa left much to be desired. Chandelle’s idea of hot chocolate and mine were worlds apart. Her idea involved a packet of cocoa mix, walking to the café (on the opposite side of the store), filling a Styrofoam full of hot water, and stirring in the mix. The time to do all of this took me away from my job much longer than I wanted to be. Though I had a donut as I enjoyed the glorious heat, I turned the offer of hot chocolate down.
Though I greatly appreciated the generosity of Chandelle doing the above (at her own expense), I believe it was only done half-way. There are a variety of other ways that this drink could have been already prepared that would made Chandelle’s act of generosity mean so much more. Chandelle went 55% when she should have strived for 110% with her Utility Workers.

Is God placing on your heart to bless someone anonymously with a specific amount of money (or a deed) that seems way outside your realm of comfort? Don’t fight Him. He enjoys doing this kind of thing. Do you want to miss out on blessing. Don’t cut the amount in half either. That didn’t work well for a couple in The Bible (read Acts 5:1-10). Eventually, it will be a bummer for you too. The Heavenly Father expects you to do right thing. He won’t give up until you do what’s correct (see post Hide and Seek). Do you trust yourself to be truthful?

Unforgettable

The late Maya Angelou made many profound quotes. This one impacted me so much that I felt it needed its own blog post. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

When people think of how they’ve been treated by you, what comes to mind? Are the emotions they could be experiencing (when you name is spoken) - positive or negative?

A few positive character traits that could be associated with your name include helpful, kind, fair, friendly, encouraging, polite, respectful, funny, and brave. The opposite of this might be moody, hormonal, unreasonable, bossy, mean, judgmental, cruel, or hypocritical. Maybe you can think of more character traits to add to both lists. Which one will you choose? Make the choice you can live with for a long time.


Thursday, February 19, 2015

Uniquely Refreshing

At times, I have found myself longing to be a normal American male.  I’ve often wondered who exactly determines normalcy in appearance, speech, and action. I figure God loves variety in the world since He created so much of it.
No one quite knows what imperfections lurk behind closed doors for those that appear perfect. Chances are many of those male and female models you see in magazines have been air brushed into a perfection even they themselves can’t meet.
How utterly boring would it be if every male and female thought, acted, and looked identical to those in their gender? This sounds like being a robot. It’s great to have the ability to make up your own mind. That’s what makes you a true original. Of course, with every choice made there are repercussions (both good and bad).
Only God can make you the best version of yourself possible. Psalm 139:23-24 of The Message says, “Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; see for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong-then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

This doesn’t sound like it will be lots of fun all the time, but wouldn’t you prefer your infinite Heavenly Father telling you what’s normal (and what needs a bit of fine tuning) than a finite loved one who doesn’t see the whole picture? Originality can be uniquely refreshing just like an ice cold glass of 7-up. Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime

Man Child

In 2000, the Disney movie The Kid (starring Bruce Willis and Spencer Breslin) asks the following question: “If today’s adult version of you could somehow advise the child version of yourself, what recommendations would be made?
This question is both easy (and profound). Without your life experiences (both negative and positive), what would this version of you be like? Personally, I would try to prepare Robby (Robbie) on some of the life challenges that would begin as a teenager to now (many deaths). Somehow I would hook up Robby Kinker of Ohio with a very special female pen pal, Bobbi McFarlen, of both Nevada and California.
If I had known my wife as a child, I think it would have helped me better understand why she is the woman that I both love at times and find a challenge today in my marriage. (I was 30, and Bobbi was 28 when we married at Fellowship Baptist Church in Columbus, OH.)
I would have also prepared Robby for fatherhood, and the spirited daughter, Allena, that would later provide his life with lots of zest and pride.

Most of all I would tell Robby (yuck on the childhood name) to make his life decisions carefully because they will ultimately determine the quality of his life. Financially, I would tell him to live within his means. Go to college for Creative writing or journalism and not Elementary Education (although that is a worthy profession but not right for me). Love those that mean the most to you deeply. We have no idea how long they will be here. Think about all of this.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Assured

Some of you may wonder how the post Afraid ended. This is its sequel. Forty-eight hours after Valentine’s Day, I and my wife attended my annual cancer check-up at 9:15am with Hematologist/Oncologist Dr. Baiocchi at The New James Cancer Hospital and Solove Research Institute.
As expected, my final diagnosis from the good physician was that everything looked great, and I was still in remission. Chances of the Lymphoma returning were very small. In the slight possibility, cancer was to return it would not be the type I already had. 
Dr. Baiocchi was also happy with my weight loss (due in part to my wife’s bariatric surgery and the physical demands of my job as a Utility Worker).The only suggestions were to continue losing more weight, and continue to get my diabetes under better control. (I like to eat a lot of all kinds of food.)
How many challenges in life do you perceive the worst outcome for possible? When the results do not turn out to be horrendous, you wonder why you worried so. The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7, NAS)

I know I need to put that advice into practice more than I do. What about you? If your sense of fretfulness is off the chart, take a break and hand it over to Someone who has a much better grasp on what needs to be done than you do. You can trust the Almighty.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Hot Dog


Any pet owner knows that when they sense their pet is in jeopardy, the world seems to be a very frightening place. My dog story happened in the middle of the hottest part of the summer of 2014. It involved our mixed breed Chihuahua named “Lola,” who was almost three at the time. (She was probably still a puppy at the time.)

As I was returning with Lola from the dog salon at the Easton Petsmart, her nails had just been trimmed and ground down (smoothed) as well as the fluid in her ears had been cleaned out. The service was done every couple months when Lola’s nails got so sharp that she was scratching everyone she came in contact with. Bobbi and I felt the cost was reasonable for the scratch it saved my wife when she tried to do this.

At the corner of McCutcheon and Stelzer (a major intersection in Columbus, OH) as I was in the turning lane waiting for the light to turn green, both owner and canine were enjoying the breeze from the driver’s side window that was rolled down. The next thing I know Lola has jumped out the window with the leash still attached to her collar. There she sits smiling up at me like this behavior was admirable.

In my head, I believe she thought she was doing something good. As I slammed the car in park, the light was now a green arrow. I quickly grabbed my dog, rolled up the window, and wondered what the other drivers thought of my predicament as I headed home.

 

Have you ever had something happen that is beyond your control that shook you to the very core of who you are? How did you respond? What did your response say about who you really are? Do you need to make improvements, or are you Ok with what you discovered. Just think about it.

 

I’m Sorry


These two simple words are so difficult for some people to say. For some it’s a pride issue, and for others they would have to say it constantly to the ones they continue to offend.

“Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, The Message)

Has someone really hurt you bad? Chances are you are the only one that is still holding the anger. The offender was over it a long time ago. Holding onto the annoyance is not good for your health. Give it up no matter exasperating the offense was.

As difficult as it may be, this sounds like a much better way for one to run their life. Believe me; it’s not always easy to close your mouth when you are dying to give your angry “two cents worth” of advice. Think about what you communicate. Edit it. Once words fly out of your mouth or out of your fingers onto some social media website, their effect cannot be taken away. As tiring as it seems, choose to be the bigger person.

The Risk


What kind of danger would you allow yourself to be in for the ones you love? If all your human family members were out safely from a furious house fire, but the family canine (Wags) was stuck on the second floor (whimpering in fear). How far would you go to make sure He got out safely to? Would you jeopardize your life?

A leisurely afternoon of canoeing with the family goes horribly wrong when your water vessel upturns in the deep, raging waters. Of your other two family members (of the wife, who is your very life and the ten year-old son, who brings pride to your heart), you are the only one that can swim. Only one of your family members can be saved by you. In a split second decision, who will it be?

No more horrendous, discouraging scenarios that are even upsetting me. When you are in the midst of multiple trials, what comes out-gold or ashes? Do you go out of your way (inconvenience yourself) to help the ones in your life that mean the most to you?

Life may not always be the best for them either. How could a kind card, phone call, text, or e-mail make all the difference? Many times my wife texts me a prayer for a good day; it’s a great pick-me-up usually when it is needed the most. The question has always been this. What can you do to be a blessing to someone? It’s the one risk you can afford to take.

 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Baby Steps

Have you ever watched a toddler that is in the process of walking? There little chunky legs may be slow, wobbly and unsure at times, but they never give up no matter how many times they fall and cry. Though parents know this process is essential, they will smile when their child (with outstretched arms) comes to them. It can all be a bit nerve-wracking at times when your toddler starts to explore steps.
When it comes to exploring an opportunity, how do you handle that? I saw this quote on the media screen at my church. I believe it applies here. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step.” Stepping out into the unknown can be extremely scary. Remember, “Nothing ventured; nothing gain.” Of course, always do your research to make sure you know all the facts before going outside your comfort zone.
If you think about your life today, much of what you have and use on a daily basis is because someone had a solution to a problem they wanted to share with the public. Wherever you call “home” taking a few minutes to look around; things like lights, computers, phones (of any kind), or alarm systems came out of the fertile imagination of an inventor (a problem solver).“

With your common sense in tow, give whatever it is a try. That’s the only way you can find out about the sweetness in life.  There is goodness all around you. Allow others to help. What have you got to lose?

The Plan

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11, The Message)
If I understand the above verse correctly, it assures me that whatever I go through that God’s “got my back.” He will be holding my hand through every challenge life throws at me. You world can’t always be “sunshine and roses.” I find it reassuring that someone weigh smarter than me has a master plan of how things should be. When everything seem likes a big chaotic mess to me, the Almighty reassures me things are happening as they are meant to.

Do you ever dream what could be in your life? Do all you can, and then leave the rest to Him. Trusting Him takes a lot of the stress off of you. As much as you may think you can control life with your interpersonal skills-even you have limits. Let God do what he does best-controlling the universe.

The Pants

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares deals with four teenage girls on their first summer apart. The girls stay connected with a pair of jeans that fits each female perfectly as it travels from one location to another. I found the movie version of this book enjoyable until I realized the pants were only magical if they remained unwashed the weeks they were being sent all over the world. Gross!
Has anyone ever commented about seeing you wear a particular outfit twice in one week? Unless you are required to wear a uniform at your place of employment, how do you feel about duplicating clothing items in the public eye?
As a guy, I don’t feel it is anyone’s business what I wear as long as I have clothes on. It could be someone’s concern if they wished to buy my clothes. Chances of that are slim. (I’m sure life in Femaleworld is quite different. I only venture in there when it’s a matter of life and death.)
With my age, my rather large body, and the aura (of don’t mess with me), strangers don’t tend to make any comments about me unless I invite them to, which I don’t. When I’m out in the public eye (excluding work), I dress completely for comfort.
My wife (as a female and a former large woman) has had all sorts of hurtful (but well-meaning) comments made about her weight (her whole life) both at work and in the public eye. It’s always irritated how caddy (and snotty) some women can be to other women of different sizes, age, ethnicity, race, and the list goes on.  So make sure that you mind your business when it comes to someone else’s clothing.  It may be they can only afford one nice outfit, and that’s what they wear to work everyday. Have you ever thought about it like this?

   

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...