Angelic or Devilish

When my younger brother (Jim) passed away in February of 1992, I inherited his copy of the game, A Question of Scruples: the Game of Moral Dilemmas (1984 High Game Enterprise, Inc.).

My adaptation of the game description (on the bottom of the box) goes like this:

1.  You are buying a house from an old lady. She is asking much too little. Do you tell her?

2.  You give your lover an expensive gift, and break up a month later. Do you ask for it back?

3.  You and your best friend are looking for jobs in the same field. You hear of an excellent, little known opportunity. Do you inform your friend?

This game is based on moral dilemmas like those given above.  There are no right answers. The most moral person doesn’t win, and lying is encouraged. A Question of Scruples is won by anticipating how other players will react, and then convincing the other participants that you right.

Laughter and provocative questions are plentiful as you get to know each other rather quickly. Any relationship (siblings, spouses, friends, and parents) can all be surprised by truth (as someone else sees it).

Though there is eventually a winner, it is overshadowed by all the fun everyone is having. All players know the right answers (what they would do). No one feels stupid in this game as the atmosphere of A Question of Scruples tends to be exciting and soothing.

This game is best played with four to eight in a living room since there is no game board. There are 245 moral dilemma question cards, 10 blank cards (to create your own moral dilemmas), and so answer cards (yes, no, or depends), and 15 ballot cards (pitchfork/halo).

We all have moral dilemmas, but rarely discuss them. A Question of Scruples is a winner that allows for both entertainment and better knowledge (of each other).

I don’t remember playing A Question of Scruples very often with Jim (or anyone else). I can tell you that he was not happy with me when he discovered I had written my own moral dilemmas on all the blank cards (in pen).

I can tell you that the few times my principles have been tested that I have remained true to them (as far as I can remember). Yet when I am emotionally pushed to the edge, I tend to loudly blow up, and vehemently defend (what I perceive) are my rights.

In my fifties, I struggle with family (and friends) offering me personal (and spiritual advice. At about the time I think I got my life all figured out, the plot gets changed.

James 1:2-4 (MSG) gives this profound advice on finding out the type of character qualities you are made of:

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come to you from all sides. You know that under pressure your faith-life is forced to the open and shows it true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you can become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

In times of painful testing, it may be difficult to think first before you say (or type) that you might later regret. The Almighty provides us with this important reminder in Colossians 4:6 (MSG):

“Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.”

Where do you stand in the midst of your important moral issues? How do you react to others when you are being squeezed from all sides?

 As a representative of Christianity, how do you want others to view your testimony? If you need help, reach out and ask for it right now. Don’t delay this important decision any longer. 

My brother, Jimmy

Fool’s Gold

“To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.”

 ü Thomas Paine is the author of the pamphlet, Common Sense, which was influential in the American Revolution.

Have you ever met an idiot? Either their many destructive actions or unkind words figuratively place the word “stupid” on their life. These people think what they are doing or saying to others is valuable like rare jewels. But in the end all their glittering appeal just turns out to be a large pile of Pyrite (commonly known as “fool’s gold”).

If wisdom is your goal in life, Proverbs is a book you should study. Below, God lays out everything a person needs to know in being foolish or wise. (Here are my favorites):

1.  The wise benefits from knowledge while the foolish take pleasure in stupidity. (Proverbs 10:23)

2.  The wise are careful with motive while the foolish are gullible and avoid correction for wrong things done. (Proverbs 14:15, 15:12)

3.  The wise seek knowledge (and value wisdom above wealth) while the foolish have an abundant supply of thoughtlessness. (Proverbs 15:14, 16:16)

4.  The wise have a positive response to correction while the foolish have a negative response to punishment. (Proverbs 17:10)

5.  The foolish blame God for their failure instead of themself. (Proverbs 19:3)

6.  The foolish reject good advice instead of accepting it. (Proverbs 23:9)

7.  The wise control their anger while the foolish unleash it on everyone around them. (Proverbs 29:11)

8.  The wise keep peace while the foolish stir up irritation. (Proverbs 29:8)

9.  The foolish endanger their health with their negative words. (Proverbs 18:6-7)

10.     The wise rely on God’s wisdom while the foolish trust in their own abilities. (Proverbs 28:26)

11.     The foolish verbally lash out when they are caught doing wrong. (Proverbs 17:12)

12.     The foolish will be guided by an existence of hardship. (Proverbs 26:3)

13.     The wise have great advice with their patience while the foolish are not good counselors with their quick temper. (Proverbs 24:5-7)

After reading the above list, does your loving Heavenly Father see you as a fool or a wise individual? If you’re finally ready to get off the merry-go-round of defeat and addiction (to what hurts you), just reach out and grasp the hand of God.

You were the one that strayed away from Him. He’s been waiting here for you all the time. There are professionals, family, and friends that only want the best for you. Don’t ignore them again. Put a plan in action, and do what must be done. Choose to be a success because you’ve got an excellent support system.

*Adapted from the article, “Wisdom and Foolishness,” from The Life Application Bible, New International Version edition.

Finding Your Roots

I am so blessed in more ways than I realize (a loving family, material goods, and close friendships). One thing that I’ve always had was a relationship with both my biological parents, my late father (Robert) and my mother (Janice).

I’ve come to realize lately that this is not a given for everyone. Some children have loving step-parents, but they’ve been wondering (and searching) for a long time who they are biologically connected to. There are those parents that were forced to give up a child when they were just a child themselves (as teenagers).

I am a chump for shows that make cry, sniffle, and overuse the box of Kleenex. In a very compassionate manner, The Learning Channel’s (TLC) Long Lost Family (Sundays, 10-11pm) helps to make needed biological reunions with reconnections like those described above.

Long Lost Family helps to finally answer the question for those involved of “who do you think you are?”   This is a new show I never miss (whether I view it either live or recorded).

Whether the families you are with have a biological connection (or were connected together through adoption), our loving Heavenly Father has a wish for your life as is found in Ephesians 3:17-19 (NLT).

“Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep is His love. May you experience the love of Christ, though it’s too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

This is a must-see program.

Change Is In the Air

Nothing makes the parent of a young adult child (or a teenager) happier than to see a slight (or large) growth in their child’s personal maturity as a responsible human being.

I got the above opportunity on the Saturday before Easter 2016. It had been two years since our church had the photographer in our congregation take family portraits following the morning service.

This year’s family portrait promised to be a drastic change from the last time this pictorial event happened. Bobbi had bariatric surgery in August 2014, and had lost one hundred and forty-five pounds so far. With alterations in my lifestyle, I also had managed to shed sixty-five pounds.  (We were both coloring our hair on a semi-regular basis.)

Allena had returned from her six month venture with Youth with a Mission, and had decided to take her shoulder-length hair to a rather short hair style.

That Saturday evening when Allena returned home from purchasing the items that Bobbi (at her part-time job) and she needed for Easter service the next morning, her honest admission (my paraphrase below) tumbled out of her mouth. 

“Dad, in good conscience I couldn’t buy what I intended to get at that women’s clothing store. It was just way too expensive. That money could be used to feed several people, or put gas in someone’s car.

I wanted to cry every time I saw someone purchasing clothing that may not really be needed when all the money being spent could be used to do so much good for so many human beings.”

The above words may not seem like a big deal, but this situation prior to YWAM Akron in September 2015 would have ended very differently. The “old” Allena would have purchased what she wanted without a thought to anyone else but herself.

Psalm 127:3(MSG) inquires “Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? If God has blessed you with children they can often become mirrors to both the good (and bad) in our lives.

Any parent that truly loves their child (children) wants them to do better in their life than they did. They want to lead them down their own unique path to finding what will bring them true fulfillment (Proverbs 22:6)

There is so much that I want for my daughter. I want her to be able to step out on her faith when she feels God is calling her to an important mission. I want Him to heal her of whatever doubts she may have in stepping out for the Almighty (Matthew 9:22).

I pray (one day) when Allena meets the person she’ll marry (her life partner) that she can successfully transition from her family life (with us) to the early beginnings of her own family (Psalms 45:10).

My truest heartfelt proclamation for my adult daughter comes from Proverbs 31:29 (MSG). “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” If you have a daughter (no matter her age), can you say the same thing?

The Kinkers family portrait at church on Easter 2014

Unexplainable

Today’s medicine does not always have an explanation for patients that are healed. Often doctors are baffled by what can only be attributed as unexplainable and the work of something truly divine.

In the inspirational movie, Miracles from Heaven, a young girl’s painful, debilitating, intestinal illness (a pseudo-obstruction motility disorder) is healed by God when she falls thirty feet down the inside of a hollow tree. The Almighty’s methods to a solution often don’t make sense to us.

The audience is reminded at the conclusion of the movie that life is full of daily small blessings that one could miss if they are only on the look-out for the large miracles.

Small blessings could include a compliment (when it was needed the most), an errand someone did for you so you wouldn’t have to,  a hug or kiss from a child,  an act of affection from an animal, reading something inspiring, eating something delicious, your breath (meaning you are alive)…I could go on.

I want God (my Judge) to always give me the blessings of His mercy, and not the justice of what I deserve, hell and separation from His presence (Isaiah 64:6 and Romans 6:23)

I can relate to the chorus of Mandisa’s song, Not Guilty:

“I know you.

I love you.

I gave my life to save you.

Love paid the price for mercy.

My verdict: not guilty!”

Count your blessings. Life is (really) good. You have a great deal to be thankful for even in the midst of your challenges. (Is there something in your life God has “under construction” right now?)

Proverbs 10:22 (MSG) says, “God’s blessing makes life rich; nothing we do can improve on God.” Do you agree?

The wife and I had a date night seeing the movie.

The War Room

From 8 to 10 pm on Sunday, March 20, 2016, my family viewed Tyler Perry’s The Passion, which dealt with the events leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. The outdoor drama (done in New Orleans, LA) was updated to our world today with a variety of popular contemporary music that was adapted to fit this spiritual theme. (Musical artist like Trisha Yearwood and Yolanda Adams were part of this production.)

The spiritual (and emotional) narration of The Passion was also expertly vocalized by Tyler Perry. To add to the unique entertainment value of this production, there was also a crowd of people carrying a large lit white cross being carried to the stage of The Passion, replaces the crucifixion scene.

One of the first commercials to play advertised the upcoming Easter services of a church we’d visited on the eastside of Columbus, OH. Bobbi smiled and relayed her memories of a visit to the church on a Friday in October almost twenty years ago.

We had driven two cars to attend the church’s production on the subject of “hell.” (I felt this was an appropriate topic for the Halloween season.) We had found two strangers on Craig’s List to sale our one of our cars to.

At that moment, we were already late for a production (I thought) sounded very interesting. Bobbi could handle this issue. I left just as I had at another time in our marriage (see Cake Problems).

My wife had to be shocked (but not surprised) I’d left her with two male strangers in a parking lot she was unfamiliar with to take care of unloading a financial burden both of us were responsible for. (Bobbi had to be feeling unsafe and unloved at that moment by the husband that had vowed for her never to have to experience those emotions.)

I did not enjoy reliving this negative memory where I came out looking rather selfish (and uncaring). Though that may have been the reality of the situation, I saw no purpose in my wife (life partner) reminding me of it.  To Bobbi, the retelling of this minor event in our life as a couple was humorous, and worth retelling.

What followed as The Passion remained on hold was as an argument between husband and wife where loud untrue accusations were made. (Both of us were raising our emotional walls to protect us from the other.) In the end no one came out a winner.

Once again, our daughter had become numb to seeing the two people (who she loved the most) verbally tearing each other apart. (Of our three Chihuahuas) at the first sound of screaming, Lola would try to protect herself by running to hide, tinkle somewhere, or both.

I would like to admit I had just cause to feel as I did, but in the end does it really matter in the long scope of my life about being right about something I did in the past that I can’t change. Let me answer for you, “No, it does not.” Even though I don’t always show it, my wife will always continue to mean the world to me (no matter what mood I’m in).

Ephesians 5:25, 28 (MSG) gives me clear direction on responding to my wife. “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting…[When husbands love their wives, they’re] really doing themselves a favor-since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”

I really wish I didn’t need the above reminder from my loving Heavenly Father, but that prompt needs to run through my brain on a regular basis.

Bobbi was God’s daughter long before she became my wife (or Allena’s mother). He loves her, and only wants the best for her in every area of her life.  If you have a wonderful spouse (or someone else special in your life), would you do me a favor (whether you feel it makes sense or not)?

Would you give someone (you cherish) a sincere hug, kiss, or both (with no expectations in return)? Take just a moment to tell them all the reasons you love (and are devoted to) them. Try being their encourager (forever).  You will be glad you did.

The Wrong Type of Creativity

In your employment history, one might find the job of cashier. (It could be that you are experiencing that customer service position currently.) Many individuals that are (or were) cashiers have the following character qualities in common. For them, their life seems to have meaning when they can help (or encourage) others.

If you ask any current (or previous) cashier if they are familiar with a deceptive individual known as the “quick-change artist,” chances are the description below would be familiar to them (even if the title wasn’t).

This is either an individual (or group of people) that has the sole purpose of confusing (and redirecting) the attention of the cashier to get more money back from them than the customer is entitled to from the difference of a tendered cash sale.

An example of “quick-change artist,” could be a customer paying for a small item (like a can of pop or a back of gum) with a $50 or $100 bill (with the intent to gain extra money from an unsuspecting cashier).

It might have a confusing directive like, “No, no, here take these two $5 bills, and give me a $10 bill. No, no, wait give me a $20 bill for these two $10 bills.  Wait can I get my $50 bill back, and I’ll give you…”

Notice all the chaos that is happening as the challenged cashier is attempting to distribute the correct change to the customer.

In a situation like the above, it is best for the cashier to remain calm, do nothing, and ask for assistance from the manager on duty (MOD). Place any loose money into the cash drawer, and then shut it completely. Call for cashier assistance at another register to handle the check-out line that may be backing up (and getting longer).

A good rule of thumb for anytime a cashier is accepting money from a patron is the paper currency should be laid across the register drawer. The change (money) should be counted back to the patron.  When the customer is gone (and before servicing the next patron), place the customer’s cash in the correct slots in the register. (This method is simple with no fuss or confusion involved)

An individual that has chosen prey on the vulnerability of others is dishonest and not honorable in the Almighty’s sight (no matter how they justify their wrong behavior). Those who choose to harm others (in any way imaginable) may eventually experience the victim’s plea as given in Psalms 35:26 (NLT). It says:

“May those who rejoice at my troubles be humiliated and disgraced. May those who triumph over me be covered with shame and dishonor.”

Though it’s always important to ask for help when it is truly needed, the important question to ask (throughout your life) will always be: “Am I a burden or a blessing to those I exist with during my life here on Earth?”

Only you can determine the answer to that inquiry with the way you live your life. Think about that, and then make a change if it is needed.

Guidance for Bosses

When time allows with my job at the Staples registers with my customers, I love to investigate the counters and cabinets around my work area. Recently, I found a small pile of rubber banded business cards from the Post-it people with what I discovered to be an unintended life lesson.

Another term for this product is sticky notes. Those are the little pieces of paper that you scribble work (or home) reminders on, and place anywhere you can find a free space.

The clever advertising said, “Want to make your idea stick? I can help.” The Robert way of restating this might go like this: “Whatever I can do to make your plan a success, just let me know.”

What follows are ideas from the scriptures that can assist with any worthwhile team endeavor (no matter how large the group is):

1.  Whatever you want to do in life it’s important to have a vision to what the finished product (or idea) will look (or be like) at completion. Without that all is lost. (Proverbs 29:18)

2.  Get good advice from wise counsel, avoid untrue miscommunication with others, and in the end achieve the positive results needed. (Proverbs 11: 13-14)

3.  Kindness within a working group builds respect, morale, and the correct final product. (Proverbs 11:14)

4.  Care about your team members, and always seek their good above your own. At the finish line, you will find that you have gained much more than you have given away. (Philippians 2:3)

5.  Reach your goal with a godly attitude. Everything you say (or do) in this process ultimately reflects on God. Don’t do anything in your zeal that stains either your or the Almighty’s name. (I Corinthians 10:31, Colossians 3:17)

6.  When your passion (for what you want) temperedly turns you into a horribly mean person to yourself (and others), be wise and control your emotional fervor. Invest in a good counselor if it is needed.  (Proverbs 29:11)

7.  If things don’t work out the way you believe they should (in reaching your goal), avoid getting fretful. Be thankful for what has been accomplished so far, and continue to ask God for His guidance in this process. You can do this. (Philippians 4:6, 13)

8.  When your mind is able to relax from all you are working towards, make sure to fill it up with the right kind of input. (Philippians 4:8)

Though the song Lead Me (by Sanctus Real) deals with a husband (and father) needing God to lead him in the life of his family, the second chorus of this song (below) relates to us all. I need this. What about you?

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I’m called to be

Oh, Father show me the way

To lead them

Won’t You lead me?

Whether you realize it or not, we are all leaders. Somebody is watching how Jesus is helping you deal with the challenges of your life. That could be family, friends, strangers, or co-workers. 

Is the divine light inside of you currently burning brightly, or did you allow life to extinguish it a long time ago? (Matthew 5:16) As always the effectiveness of your Christian witness rest entirely in your hands. What will you do?

Here is the card.

Most Valuable Player (MVP)

I always find the best authors are those that can communicate some part of their personal life into their books. That was the case with author, Greg Vaughn. He lost his father to Alzheimer’s in 2000. As a result of this experience his book, Letters from Dad, was published in 2005.

“I know my dad loved me because he made sure our family was taken care of, but he never could say ‘I love you,’ or ‘Son, I am proud of you.’ That left a hole in my soul,” Vaughn stated.

In the garage, Greg discovered an old rusty fishing box. In it, he found the remains of his father’s fishing lures. “I was mad at my dad for dying, and angry at myself for not trying harder to connect with him.” Vaughn was overcome with feelings of anger and hurt at God [for not stopping this].

Vaughn started asking the questions that many children ask, “Why couldn’t my father tell me he loved me? Why couldn’t we have been closer? Why couldn’t I have had a father like ___? ”

Greg was saddened by the fact that he did not possess even a signature from his father. Then almost immediately, a haunting question came to Greg’s mind:

“Hey big shot, you are out here mad at the world. If you were to die here in the garage, what would your wife and children hold in their hands tomorrow that would let them know they were the treasures of your life?” As he pondered that piercing question, he had to sadly answer himself. “Nothing, just like my father left me.”

The answer to that question caught Vaughn by surprise. He had always told his children and wife how much he loved them. They made it a point to go on family vacations with all their great memories. When it came to something tangible they could hold in their hands and treasure forever from him, he couldn’t think of a thing he had given them. That is when an idea came to him.

“I called twelve of my closest friends, and asked them if any of them had a letter of love and blessing from their father – not counting cards,” Vaughn said. “Not a single one of them said yes.” Then I asked, “What would you give to have one?”

“The answer was always, ‘More than you could imagine.’ Then I asked each of them if they had ever written a letter like that to their children. None of them had. I looked at each of them and said, ‘Don’t you think we should’?”

Vaughn revealed a marvelous journey to these brothers where they could leave a legacy of faith, hope and love through the lost art of letter writing. (Letters from Dad rests on the two pillars of the written letters and the spoken blessing.)

When they were all through with their time together, every one of these godly men told Greg that this was one of the most significant events of their lives as fathers.

Over the years, Vaughn’s book (and program) has changed the lives of his children (and other families as well), church men, male penitentiaries, organizations (like Interstate Battery and the Rotary International), the military, and even the Pentagon.

Being a high-quality father (with affectionate relationships in his life) makes him a superior employee. Less than three percent of Christian men have a letter (or some tangible written expression of love) from their fathers. The percentage is even less in the secular community.

If you and your father are distant acquaintances, don’t you think the time has come to make an intimate reconnection with him (with no excuses on your part).

Others wish they had your current opportunity, but death or health issues have robbed them of that possibility.) Do what you know you should do because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Forgiveness on your part may seem expensive, but it will free you up emotionally.

James 4:14-15 (MSG, NLT) says, “You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. What you ought to say is, ‘If the Lord wants us to we will live and do this or that’.” (No one lives forever.) You don’t want to live with “what if’s” in your earthly existence. 

In the Middle of the Night

Have you ever woken up from what should have been a restful night of sleep only to find yourself exhausted, confused, and full of fear, horror, and distress (Job 4:13)?

The culprit is a nightmare that has occurred during your time of unconsciousness resting. The pieces of this horrific vision that you can recall have left you needing comfort from God (or someone close by), hoping this never happens to you, and happy you are finally awake (never wanting to think about it again). (In contrast, a pleasant dream can leave you well-rested, happy, and energized to take on life the next morning.)

If you have ever experienced any kind of dream (good or bad), you’re in good company. The Bible is full of normal people who God communicated to through this very unique medium of communication. (Maybe you’ll recognize some of your favorites.)

With each individual below, I have incorporated the scripture passage (and italicized it) below where their dream experience is found so you can investigate it for yourself.

1.  In Genesis 20, King Abimelech is promised death by God for unknowingly taking a married woman (Abraham’s Sarah) as his bride.

2.  (As a side note in Genesis 26, King Abimelech repeats a similar scenario with Abraham and Sarah’s son and daughter-in-law, Isaac and Rebekah. I guess some people never learn.)

3.  In Genesis 28:10-20, Jacob is given a vision of a Heavenly stairway (or ladder) at Bethel, where he is given assurance of God’s safety and provisions.

4.  In Genesis 31, Laban is told by God that it is time to cut the parental “apron strings” loose, and let his daughters, his grandchildren, and son-in-law live independently on their own. (His son-in-law had made Laban financially successful.)

5.  Joseph, the son of Jacob, has a life full of dreams. The interpretation of his dreams, promise a life of prominence (in saving Egypt financially) and life (and death for others). He took the hard route to God’s road of success. Check out Genesis 37:5-11, and 40-41.

6.  In 1 Kings 3:5-15, King Solomon asks for wisdom from God in ruling over the nation of Israel.

7.  In Daniel 2, King Nebuchadnezzar has a dream about a large statue (of gold, silver, bronze, iron, and clay) that Daniel interprets as the four kingdoms (Babylonian, Medo-Persian, Grecian, and Roman) that would dominate as world powers. (Note, Daniel was scared to deliver this message to the king as recorded in Daniel 4:19)

8.  King Nebuchadnezzar’s second dream interpreted by Daniel (in Daniel 4) involves a large, strong fruit tree being chopped down. This symbolized the king losing his sanity (and living like an animal) for a period of time.

9.  The wise men (from the Christmas story), who came to honor the Christ child with their gifts, were told to take another route home (in essence) to protect Joseph, Mary, and Jesus. (Matthew 2:9-12)  

10.             Dreams played an important role in Joseph’s life, the earthly father of Jesus. They helped to protect his young Son several times from harm.  (Matthew 1:18-24, 2:19-23)

11.             When I have not listened to my wife, Bobbi, things usually go horribly wrong rather quickly. In Matthew 27:19, Pilate got a message from his wife (who had a dream) that he should have nothing to do with Jesus’ crucifixion.

Things would have turned out much better for his historical reputation as Jesus murder if he had just listened to his wife.

He couldn’t have had any idea that he was unsuccessfully trying to put the Son of God to death (Matthew 28).

Please note, that Jesus willingly chose to die for you. He was not forced to. He could have prevented His crucifixion (Matthew 26:53). You are of prime importance to Him (John 3:16-17).

I’ve always admired people that can put their dreams (or visions) into a way to positively aid others. A psychic detective is someone who assists police in solving crimes (and hopefully offering the victim’s family resolution) in discovering the victim’s location or physical condition with their paranormal psychic abilities through a variety of methods.

Though some may disagree with me, I truly believe this profession can be applied to Joel 2:28 (NLV). “I will pour out My Spirit upon all people; [they] will prophesy, dream [during slumber] …and see visions.”

If you dream when you sleep at night, but you also want to reach the dreams your heart that God has set for you, the choruses of the two songs below might provide you with some needed inspiration to step out into the great beyond, and achieve what you were born to do.

The Martins’ Dream Big

Dream big
It's the Lord's desire for you to
Dream big
In everything you say and do
You'll see your greatest dream
come true
'Cause all of Heaven is dreaming big
for you

Michelle Tumes’ Dream

There's a dream in your heart
And His heart is your prayer
You can move mountains with your life in His hands
He'll tear down the walls and He'll walk where you can't
Have faith in the power to believe
He's given you a dream

*This post was inspired by my daughter’s curiosity on this topic. (She is at home with us now in Gahanna, OH.)

The Way We Talk at Church

The religious community has their own set of unique clichés that they understand completely. Below are sixteen of my favorites with commentary pulled from many different Internet sources (that I have edited for clarity).

1.  A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t-Those who have Bibles that are falling apart should go buy a new one. Some Bibles that fall apart do so because they were abused by their owners. 


   When Bibles wear out because of use, the Christians using the scriptures can often be extremely proud, self-righteous, and judgmental. Being a biblical scholar does not guarantee Christ-like behavior.

And this also implies that, if really horrible things are happening to you, God “gave” it to you. Is this a test? Am I being punished? Is God just arbitrarily cruel?

2.  Bless your heart-This popular cliché (popular in the South) really means, “That was stupid. Why aren’t you smart enough to see that?”

 

3.  Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together-This cliché is taken from Hebrews 10:25. It is often used as a club to beat Christians who are not following Jesus by loving and serving others. They may not be attending church on Sunday morning in building that fits the mold of the traditional church.

Don’t give beyond your means to a church or ministry based on this faulty understanding of finances. Don’t expect that by giving, God may give you greater financial wealth. (Blessings can come in other forms.) 

God gives us more than we can handle all the time. That’s how he grows our faith. The passage we often get confused about is 1 Corinthians 10:13. It’s referring to temptation (not trials or life’s circumstances).

4.  God helps those who help themselves-This is not in scripture. Benjamin Franklin penned this in the Farmers’ Almanac in 1757. People don’t need more reasons to resent (or resist) scripture. Let’s not add things that aren’t even in there.

5.  Hedge of protection-This phrase comes from Job 1:10. This catchphrase sounds more cliché than meaningful.  Say what you mean.  You want God’s protection in your life.

6.  I don’t feel led-Don’t use to get out of doing something unpleasant.

7.  I’ll pray about it- Christians often say this when they want to get themselves off the hook for their own personal decisions. This can be meaningful, but many times we use it as a conversation filler (or ender). It sounds so sound spiritual. Mean this if you say it. Pray immediately (or as soon as possible) for that person.

8.  If you just have enough faith (fill in the blank) will happen for you-Who are we to speak to what God will (or will not do) in others’ lives? If you have a story of personal experience to share, ask for permission to share it. But be aware that someone in the midst of struggle may not be in a place to hear it.

It seems from scripture that God is often at work in small, foolish, and insignificant ways with unimportant individuals, who are poor, powerless, and have no prestige.

9.  Love the sinner, hate the sin-This is a backhanded way to tell someone you love them. It also ignores the command by Jesus not to focus on the splinter in our neighbors’ eyes while a plank remains in our own (Matthew 7:4-5). We all mess up. Naming others’ sin as noteworthy while remaining silent about your own is arrogant.

10.     Overusing Father-God in prayer-Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to pray. Don’t make the mistake of saying the same words repeatedly until something new comes to mind. Pause and gather your thoughts so your words have meaning.

Sitting in a building on Sunday morning doesn’t make you part of the church. Someone may never attend the acceptable model for a house of worship, and still be a member of the body of Christ. Nothing magical happens by sitting in a church pew to sing songs and listen to a sermon.

11.     The greatest distance in the universe is the eighteen inches between your head and your heart-What people mean when they say it is that following God is both about what you know and do. What we do is most often based on what we think. In Romans 12:1-2, we learn the restoration of one’s mind leads to new actions and behaviors.

12.     The Lord never gives someone more than they can handle-What about people with mental illness? What about people in war-torn countries who are tortured to death? What about the millions of Jews murdered in the Holocaust?

13.     When God closes a door, He opens a window- This implies that when something unexpected (and usually bad) happens, God did it to you. I know it’s well-meaning, but it’s not helpful in some cases. What about someone who feels like the door has closed on them, and there is no other hope in sight? Instead, try offering a compassionate ear, a loving heart and a simple “what can I do to help?”

14.     Where God guides; God provides-When people say this, what do they mean by “provide”? Does this refer to money and finances? That is the context in which I have always heard this statement said. If this is true, then the only things we should follow God in are the areas where finances are concerned?

Why add to the discomfort by making them stand so everyone can stare at them? Calling someone a visitor implies they are simply passing through, and not a part of things. Try using the word “newcomer,” or better yet walk up to them, introduce yourself, and learn their name.

15.     Will all our visitors please stand? If someone finally is brave enough to walk through the doors of your church, the last thing they want is to be singled out. They probably don’t know the worship songs you’re singing. They may not even know where the bathroom is.

16.     You can’t out give God- This Christian cliché is almost always stated in the context of monetary donations for a building project, a ministry opportunity, or some other fundraising campaign. While it is true that God is more generous than we can ever imagine, it is not true (as is often taught) that if we give lots of money that God will give us even more money.

Sometimes getting to know God through the avenues of reading the Bible, praying, and attending church can be rather intimidating. Don’t allow your fears (or prior bad experiences with church) keep you away from your Heavenly Father.

He knows all the good (and bad) about, and loves you inspite of that.  If He’s planning on being with you through the long haul, why would you run away from divine help? Speak with Him now. He awaits to hear from you.