Stressed Out

Follow our ten simple tips to help manage and reduce your stress levels.[i]

1.  Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol, and Nicotine - Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants and so will increase your level of stress rather than reduce it. Alcohol is a depressant when taken in large quantities, but acts as a stimulant in smaller quantities... Swap caffeinated and alcoholic drinks for water, herbal teas, or diluted natural fruit juices...You should also aim to avoid or reduce your intake of refined sugars [which] can cause energy crashes [that] may lead you to feel tired and irritable...

2.  Indulge in Physical Activity - Stressful situations increase the level of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol in your body. These are the “fight or flight” hormones that evolution has hard-wired into our brains... Physical exercise can be used... to metabolize the excessive stress hormones and restore your body and mind to a...more relaxed state...Regular physical activity will also improve the quality of your sleep.

  

3.  Get More Sleep - A lack of sleep is a significant cause of stress...Make sure that your bedroom is a tranquil oasis with no reminders of the things that cause you stress...  Stop doing any mentally demanding work several hours before going to bed so that you give your brain time to calm down... You should also aim to go to bed at roughly the same time each day so that your mind and body get used to a predictable bedtime routine.

 

4.  Try Relaxation Techniques - Each day, try to relax with a stress reduction technique...For example, try self-hypnosis which is very easy and can be done anywhere, even at your desk or in the car...Relaxation is a skill that needs to be learned and will improve with practice.

 5.  Talk to Someone - Just talking to someone about how you feel can be helpful... Stress can cloud your judgement and prevent you from seeing things clearly. Talking things through...can help you find solutions to your stress and put your problems into perspective.

 

6.  Keep a Stress Diary - Keeping a stress diary for a few weeks is an effective stress management tool as it will help you become more aware of the situations which cause you to become stressed...This will enable you to avoid stressful situations and develop better coping mechanisms.

7.  Take Control - Learning how to find solutions to your problems will help you feel more in control thereby lowering your level of stress. One problem-solving technique involves writing down the problem and coming up with as many possible solutions as you can...

 

8.  Manage Your Time - Accept that you cannot do everything at once, and start to prioritize...your tasks. By editing what might have started out as an overwhelming and unmanageable task list, you can break it down into a series of...more manageable tasks...with some tasks removed from the list entirely through delegation.

Remember as well to create buffer times to deal with unexpected and emergency tasks, and to include time for your own relaxation and well-being.

 

9.  Learn to Say ‘No’ - Learning to say “No” to additional or unimportant requests will help to reduce your level of stress...Many people find it hard to say “No” because they want to help and are trying to be nice and to be liked.  For others, it is a fear of conflict, rejection or missed opportunities...  

Think of some pre-prepared phrases to let other people down more gently.  Practice saying phrases such as:

·       “I am sorry but I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”  

·       “Now is not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. 

·       “Why don’t you ask me again at….?”

·       “I’d love to do this, but …”

 

10.             Rest If You Are Ill - If you are feeling unwell, do not feel that you have to carry on regardless. A short spell of rest will enable the body to recover faster.[ii]

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[i] The term, “stressed out” means a person is tired, nervous, or depressed as a result of overwork or mental pressure. (www.yourdictionary.com)

 

[ii] Adapted from the article, “Dealing with Stress | Ten Tips” (www.skillsyouneed.com)

 

All There

Brain injury is confusing to people who don’t have one… It’s easy to get burnt out and say things out of frustration. Here are a few things you might find yourself saying that are probably not helpful:[i]

1.  You seem fine to me - The invisible signs of a brain injury; memory and concentration problems, fatigue, insomnia, chronic pain, depression, or anxiety; these are sometimes more difficult to live with than visible disabilities…Your loved one may look normal, but shrugging off the invisible signs of brain injury is belittling…

 

2.  Maybe you’re just not trying hard enough (you’re lazy) - Lazy is not the same as apathy (lack of interest, motivation, or emotion). Apathy is a disorder and common after a brain injury. Apathy can often get in the way of rehabilitation and recovery…Setting very specific goals might also help.

 

Do beware of problems that mimic apathy. Depression, fatigue, and chronic pain are common after a brain injury, and can look like (or be combined with) apathy…

3.  You’re such a grump - Irritability is one of the most common signs of a brain injury. [It] could be the direct result of the brain injury…a side effect of depression, anxiety, chronic pain, sleep disorders, or fatigue… It’s hard to live with someone who is grumpy, moody, or angry all the time.

 

4.  How many times do I have to tell you - It’s frustrating to repeat yourself over and over, but almost everyone who has a brain injury will experience some memory problems…Install a memo board in the kitchen…Remember that language isn’t always verbal. “I’ve already told you this” comes through loud and clear just by facial expression.

 

5.  Do you have any idea how much I do for you -Your loved one probably knows how much you do, and feels incredibly guilty about it. It’s also possible that your loved one has no clue, and may never understand. This can be due to problems with awareness, memory, or apathy; all of which can be a direct result of a brain injury…

6.  Your problem is all the medications you take - Prescription drugs can cause all kinds of side effects such as sluggishness, insomnia, memory problems, mania, sexual dysfunction, or weight gain… Someone with a brain injury is especially sensitive to these effects…It’s a good idea to regularly review prescription drugs with a doctor…

 

7.  Let me do that for you - Independence and control are two of the most important things lost after a brain injury… Encouraging your loved one to do things on their own will help promote self-esteem, confidence, and quality of living. It can also help the brain recover faster…

 

8.  Try to think positively - Repetitive negative thinking is called rumination, and it can be common after a brain injury…Find a task that is especially enjoyable for your loved one. It will help to distract from negative thinking, and release chemicals that promote more positive thoughts.

  

9.  You’re lucky to be alive - A person with a brain injury is six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than someone without a brain injury...Instead of calling it luck, talk about how strong, persistent, or heroic the person is for getting through their ordeal…

 

10.     TBI [from] the people who are living with it - BrainLine asked our online community to share the things they would most like to hear from their friends and family, and the list below captures some of the many responses so generously provided by people with TBI…

 

·       I'm sorry. How can I help? Alison

 

·       Please tell me what having a TBI is like. Can you tell me where I can read more about TBI?  Melody

 

·       I don't know how you feel, but you are my friend and I will always be there for you. AmyRenee

 

·       I admire your willpower. You will get through this. Amina

 

·       I know I don't understand what it's like, but I will try my hardest to be patient and understanding. Christy

 

·       Take your time. We are not in a hurry. Lisa

  

·       When are you going grocery shopping, I want to go, too…What yard work can I come do? Darla

 

·       I don't know what to say but I'm sorry it happened to you. Crystal

 

 

·       The you that is you hasn't changed. You just have a harder time thinking than you used to. Fred

 

·       I will bring you some delicious healthy brain foods and snacks. [I will] come to sweep and do laundry… Don't worry [because] I won't stay too long. Heal Your Concussion[ii]

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[i] The term”all there” refers to being possession of one's mental faculties. Google Answers

 

 

[ii] Adapted from the articles, “9 Things Not to Say to Someone with a Brain Injury” by Marie Rowland, PhD, and “10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear” by BrainLine.

 

 

A Great Price

A Chinese finger trap is a gag toy used to play a joke on a gullible person. The finger trap is a simple puzzle that traps the victim's index fingers in both ends of a small cylinder woven from bamboo. [i]

The initial reaction of the victim is to pull the fingers outward, but this only tightens the puzzle. The way to escape is to push the fingers toward the middle, which enlarges the openings and frees the victim. [ii](See picture below)

 The above illustration is a lot like one’s life. It’s easy to get stuck in our bad habits, but only the Heavenly Father can aid us into making permanent change that frees us (to be all He wants us to be). “But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.[iii]

Courage is about learning how to function despite the fear, to put aside your instincts to run or give in completely to the anger born from fear. Courage is about using your brain, and your heart when every cell of your body is screaming at your to fight or flee…Then following through on what you believe is the right thing to do.” [iv]

How steps do the scripture say we should take to handle the conflicts in our life? (Follow the method below in the order given.)

1.  If at all possible, overlook the offense.

 

“A person with discretion is not easily angered; he gains respect by overlooking an offense.”[v]

 

“We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it”.[vi]     

 

2.  If it is required, one-on-one communication may be necessary (several times)

 

“Now if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault while you’re with him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.”[vii]

 

These steps may help:

·       Pray for grace (on both sides) in this encounter.

·       Plan your words. Choose the right time (and place).

·       Assume the best of the other individual until facts prove otherwise.

·       Approach the conversation with gentleness (and a listening ear).

 

“A word of truth can mobilize two peoples looking for the road to reconciliation.”[viii]       

 

3.  If the first two steps do not work, proceed further with objective mediation.

 

“But if he does not listen to you, take one or two others with you to talk to him. Then two or three people will hear every word and can prove what was said.”[ix]

 

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”[x]

 

4.     If the issue is not resolved at the previous level, proceed on to obeyed arbitration.

 

“So if you have complaints about things in this life, why do you take them to those who are not church people?”[xi]

 

“If necessity is the mother of invention, conflict is its father.”[xii]     

 

5.  After you have tried all of the above, separation from that individual is your last resort.

 

“If he still refuses to listen, then [you must] take your case to the church, and if the church’s verdict favors you, but he won’t accept it, then the church should excommunicate him.”[xiii]

 

“Other people do not have to change for us to experience peace of mind.[xiv]  

          

Don’t be afraid to stand tall in your truth. Boldly and confidently face everything that has (and is) keeping you bound. Fight for your inner peace. Fight for your happiness. Fight for everything and everybody that’s important to you.

You are not a victim. Don’t even play into that. You owe it to yourself to live. Live your life without the regrets; without the resentments; without the unforgiveness; without the blame game; without the self-pity; without any and everything that keeps you from experiencing true joy within.

You are too important to waste your life away. Learn to appreciate and value your life, (but most importantly) learn to appreciate and value yourself. You count too (no matter what you’ve done).”[xv]

Chinese Finger Trap

 

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[i] This post was inspired by the sermon, The Prison of Unforgiveness: Preserving Freedom  (installment three, final) Pastor Dave Jansen Sunday, January 22, 2017 CenterPoint Church Gahanna Gahanna OH

 

 

[ii] The tile for this post is adapted taken from the quote by Debbie McDaniel:

“The most significant, important gifts in life are always worth fighting for.  And they often come with a great price.  They are not free.  Somewhere along the way, someone paid dearly for the liberties we enjoy so freely today.  But often, we forget.

 

It’s easy to take them for granted.  We enjoy freedom, but most of us alive today, have always had it.  We may not even be fully aware of just how many men and women have paid dearly for the gifts we enjoy today.  The price was paid through many long years.” Close relationships are worth fighting for. Let’s all swallow our pride, and do what’s best interest for everyone involved.

 

 

[iii] Quote by Francis Chan

 

[iv] Quote by  Jim Butcher

 

 

[v] Proverbs 19:11 (VOICE)

 

[vi] Quote by  Abraham Lincoln

[vii] Matthew 18:15 (TLV)

 

[viii] Quote by Donald Tusk

[ix] Matthew 18:16 (New Testament) (WE)

 

[x] Quote by Albert Einstein

 

[xi] 1 Corinthians 6:4 (New Testament) (WE)

 

[xii] Quote by Kenneth Kaye

 

[xiii] Matthew 18:17 (TLB)

 

[xiv] Quote by Gerald Jampolsky

 

[xv] Quote by Stephanie Lahart