Putting on Its Shoes

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” (Charles Spurgeon)

Are you fed up with the general lack of honesty in our electronic age? Today is National Honesty Day (NHD-April 30, 2017). Really! Don't you believe every day should be called that? I find it appropriate that NHD this year is on a Sunday. Don't many people attend church on Sunday to acquire a real, honest connection with the Almighty. The following is the origins of this minor.

The author of The Book of Lies: Fibs, Tales, Schemes, Scams, Fakes, and Frauds that Have Changed the Course of History and Affect Our Daily Lives, M. Hirsh Goldberg, created National Honesty Day in the early 1990s as part of the process of writing the above book.  The former press secretary to a Maryland governor selected the last day of this month in contrast to the first day of the month, and the foolishness and lying connected with April Fools’ Day.

Though the average individual lies about two hundred times a day which includes omission and white lies[i]; the concept for this minor holiday is simple. Ask direct questions without ulterior motives, and expect honest answers.  

Honesty between yourself and others can be extremely difficult. A recent Gallup poll found nurses are among the most honest people with lobbyists, salesmen, and members of Congress among the least honest. The average lie for a man is “I didn’t drink that much” and for a woman it is “Nothing’s wrong; I’m fine”. People are more likely to lie to their mother.

Celebrating Honesty Day is pretty simple on the surface, but it may be the hardest thing you do in your life. Here are some important things to remember while celebrating National Honesty Day.

Honesty...

ü Builds trust: People get ahead by making the right choices, and showing that they are trustworthy.

ü Is better than the best lie: Trust in the notion that the truth always finds a way to surface, so just own up.

ü Means you can’t read someone’s minds: Being honest doesn’t just mean telling factual truth, but also being truthful about the way you’re feeling

ü Opens up to someone truthfully:
Do you desperately want to confide in someone? Go ahead. This is your day.

ü Is transparent: Communicating less over email, and become more personally engaged with others via face-to-face interaction. This will build trust.

“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you? What do you take for granted, and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you'll be amazed at what claims your attention. What you give your precious life force to.” (Brenda Shoshanna) [ii]

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     [i] A white lie is a harmless or trivial lie (especially one told to avoid     hurting someone's feelings). Google Answers

 

[ii] Sources adapted from:

·       “Honesty Day 2017” (www.cute-calendar.com)
“Honesty Day” (Wikipedia)

·       “National Honesty Day – April 30” (nationaltoday.com)

·     “National Honesty Day” (www.nationaldaycalendar.com)

·      

·  Honesty Day

·       “Sun 30th Apr, 2017” (www.daysoftheyear.com)
 

 

 

Less Capable

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” (Barbara De Angelis)

By the time I was forty-six years of age, I’d undergone medical retirement from my eighteen and half year job, brain surgery, a cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, and finally remission. Though I was thankful to be among the living, until the present something important about my way of living was getting worse.

It was exhausting to live my life in between accelerated fits of anger with God, myself, friends, family (past, present, church, and canine), and anywhere else (or anyone) that happened to move onto my bad side.

I recently took the first step in making a change towards regaining true pleasure in life. In nearby New Albany, OH, I am seeing a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in the area of anger management. [i] I hope to eventually be able to live the theme of his practice of “cheer up, relax, and put the past in the past.”

We are delving into my past to deal with areas I thought had been resolved, but weren’t. Resources like Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)[ii] and meditation[iii] are being discussed as aids in reaching my goal of honest contentment.  I am beginning to see a hint of hope for positive change on my horizon, and it feels exciting.

When it comes to anger you may be currently handling, are you the type of person who “stews” on the wrong others have done to you, and eventually “spew” out your angry words (like a volcano) on the victim that happens to be closest to you (usually a spouse)?

It’s important to slow down your anger by reviewing in your mind what exactly is irritating you. What are you going to do with this secondary emotion that is fueled by other causes?

“Think long; think hard. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin.  When night comes, in calm be silent. [Pause]” (Psalm 4:4, VOICE)

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Instead of being anger, will you choose to …

1.      Heal the hurt within you?

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry, but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, MSG)

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” (Mark Twain)

2.     Take you foot off the gas pedal of your emotions?

“Distressed and hungry, they will roam through the land; when they are famished; they will become enraged and, looking upwards, will curse their king and their God.” (Isaiah 8:21, NIVUK)

“I first came across the acronym H.A.L.T. when I was working as a counselor in chemical dependency treatment centers twenty years ago. H.A.L.T. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Each one of these four physical or emotional conditions, if not taken care of, leaves an individual vulnerable for relapse.” (Gudrun Zomerland, MFT)

3.     Guard your “hot” buttons from being easily pushed by others?

Elisha sent Naaman a messenger who said, “Go and wash in the Jordan River seven times. Then your skin will be healed, and you will be clean.”  Naaman became angry and left. He said, “I thought Elisha would surely come out and stand before me and call on the name of the Lord his God.

I thought he would waive his hand over the place and heal the disease. The Abana and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, are better than all the waters of Israel. Why can’t I wash in them and become clean?” So Naaman went away very angry. (2 Kings 5:10-12, NCV)

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people." (Carl Jung)

4.    Listen to understanding?

“Listen, open your ears, harness your desire to speak, and don’t get worked up into a rage so easily, my brothers and sisters.” (James 1:19, VOICE)

"We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less." (Diogenes, a Greek philosopher)

When it comes to anger, the quotes below give the top irritants for both sexes:

·       Male: “Respect depicts acceptance while disrespect is rejection.” (Fawad Afzal Khan)

·       Female: “We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.” (Mother Teresa)

“Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are…Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” (Saint Augustine of Hippo)[iv]

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[i] Anger management is the process of learning to recognize signs that you're becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way.

 

[ii] Cognitive Behavior Therapy is helping clients change their unhelpful thinking and behavior that leads to enduring improvement in their mood and functioning.

 

[iii] Meditation is a practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth. People who meditate regularly have been shown to feel less anxiety and depression.

 

[iv] Inspired by the sermon “Sensible Sensitivity: Slow to Anger, Part 1” (Installment one) Sunday, April 23, 2017 Dave Jansen CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH

This post is also adapted from these sources:

www.millercounselingllc.com

www.mayoclinic.org

“What is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)?” by Beck Cognitive Behavior Therapy

 

Wikipedia

“Meditation” (www.omharmonics.com)

 

 

 

 

God's Glue

"Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue." (Eugene Gladstone)

Often what we consider crisis in our lives may not be so in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. I sometimes wonder what people would think about me if they knew about that thing in my life. How does God feel about me? What do I do about those unlovely parts of my life that few know about? Questions like these are the driving force behind Matthew West’s song “Mended.”

 The heart behind “Mended” is the above quote. The woman who inspired this song had been an abuse victim her entire life. As a result of this, there are ugly emotional and physical scars in her life that she never wanted.

“If you could see your situation through God's eyes, you wouldn't be worried.” (Wayne Israel)

Matthew explains his lyrics this way: "When you hear this song, be reminded that while you and I may have been born broken.  God won't let us stay there. Healing is real. We can go from wounded to mended if we take the hand of our Healer."

Read below, and see if you gain a unique perspective on your challenges? Does the Almighty want to breathe peace into your soul (right now)? Will you trust Him completely, and allow it?

“God sees us differently than we see ourselves.” (Matthew West)
Chorus
When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home

How many times can one heart break?
It was never supposed to be this way
Look in the mirror, but you find someone you never thought you'd be

Oh, but I can still recognize
The one I love in your tear stained eyes
I know you might not see him now, so lift your eyes to me

Chorus
When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

You see your worst mistake
But I see the price I paid
And there's nothing you could ever do,
To lose what grace has won

So hold on, it's not the end
No, this is where love's work begins
I'm making all things new
And I will make a miracle of you

Chorus
When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

I see my child, my beloved
The new creation you're becoming
You see the scars from when you fell
But I see the stories they will tell

You see worthless, I see priceless
You see pain, but I see a purpose
You see unworthy, undeserving
But I see you through eyes of mercy

Chorus

When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet, no
When you see wounded, I see mended

I see mended
I see mended
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

 “That is the way God sees us, you and me and everyone who has ever inched his way on this earth. He sees not our history, but our destiny. Not what we once were but what we will one day become. He sees not our drizzly gray past but our sun-washed future, a rainbow full of promise arching over the whole of it…God sees not as man sees. We see the disgusting sinner. He sees the destined saint.” (Leif Hetland, author of Seeing through Heaven’s Eyes: a World View that will Transform Your Life)[i]

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[i] Sources used in the writing of this post:

·       “Matthew West - Mended” by RobC

·       “Story behind Mended by Matthew West” (mystar933.com)

 

All Great Thoughts

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

What’s not to like about walking? It’s a gentle, low-impact, aerobic exercise that’s easy, free, and available to everyone with no special equipment needed to perform it. Here are just a few of the ways that walking benefits you (in any lifestyle):

1.  Walking improves circulation:  Reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke by walking regularly. It lowers levels of bad cholesterol while increasing levels of good cholesterol. The Stroke Association says that a brisk thirty minute walk every day helps to prevent and control the high blood pressure that causes strokes, reducing the risk by up to twenty-seven percent.  Walking helps to lower blood pressure, and improve heart health.

2.  Walking lightens your mood:  Walking releases natural pain ­killing endorphins to the body (one of the emotional benefits of exercise). Studies show that a brisk walk is just as effective as antidepressants in mild to moderate cases of depression. So for positive mental health, walking’s an absolute must.

Going for a walk is a zero-calorie strategy with the same benefits. Regular walking actually modifies your nervous system so much that you'll experience a decrease in anger and hostility.

When you make your walks social with a partner, a neighbor, or a good friend, this interaction helps you feel connected with others Walking outdoors exposes you to natural sunlight, which can help stave off Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which makes it a potential antidote for the winter blues.

“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. “ (Paul Dudley White)

3.  Walking can lead to weight loss: You’ll burn around 150 calories at a speed of 4mph Work that short walk into your daily routine and you’ll shed the pounds in no time.

As you continue to walk, you may notice your pants begin to fit more loosely around your midsection, even if the number on the scale isn't moving much. That's because regular walking can help improve your body's response to insulin, which can help reduce belly fat.

4.  Walking improves sleep: Women, ages fifty to seventy-five, who took one-hour morning walks, were more likely to relieve insomnia than women who didn’t walk. Walking may help you fall asleep faster or sleep more soundly. A morning walk outdoors may be particularly beneficial since exposure to daylight can help you stay in tune with your natural circadian rhythms.

5.  Walking supports your joints: The majority of joint cartilage has no direct blood supply. It gets its nutrition from joint fluid that circulates as we move. Impact that comes from movement or compression (such as walking) squishes the cartilage, which brings oxygen and nutrients into the area.

If you don’t walk, joints are deprived of life-giving fluid, which speeds deterioration. Walking most days of the week may help lessen pain and reduce symptoms for arthritis and fibromyalgia. Walking protects the joints (especially the knees and hips) which are most susceptible to osteoarthritis by lubricating them and strengthening the muscles that support them.

6.  Walking helps you do more for longer:  Aerobic walking and resistance exercise programs may reduce the incidence of disability in the activities of daily living of people who are older than sixty-five and have symptomatic osteoarthritis (OA).

Going for regular walks is one of the best and easiest things you can do for your health. You’ll get more done with more energy.  It boosts circulation and increases oxygen supply to every cell in your body, which helps you to feel more alert and alive. Walking is the perfect way to enjoy the outdoors while getting your vitamin D fix.

7.  Walking minimizes your risk of diabetes: Walking can help improve your blood glucose levels at any time of the day (or night), but more right after a meal. A regular walking habit decreases the risk of type two diabetes by around 60 percent. You’re 20 percent less likely to develop cancer of the colon or womb with walking.  For diabetics, a fifteen minute walk can curb cravings for chocolate (and sugary snacks), and even reduce the amount of chocolate you eat in stressful situations.

“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day, I walk myself into a state of well-being, and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts… I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still (and the more one sits still) the closer one comes to feeling ill. Thus if one just keeps on walking, everything will be all right.” (Søren Kierkegaard)

8.  Walking will tone your legs: Walking prevents varicose veins from developing. Give definition to calves, quads, hamstrings, and gluteus muscles (butt) with a regular walk. Pay attention to your posture, and you’ll also tone your abdominal muscles, waist, and even arm muscles (if you pump them as you walk). This increases your range of motion, shifting the pressure and weight from your joints and muscles, which are meant to handle weight (helping to lessen arthritis pain)

9.  Walking reduces the risk of tripping and falling: Stepping out on a regular basis could help prevent the trips and falls that can occur as we age. Balance loss and weak muscles in the shins can cause a shuffling gait that can put you at a higher risk of tripping or falling. Regular walks can help improve balance by strengthening the lower body. Walking with an exaggerated heel-to-toe action can help strengthen these muscles even more by emphasizing the movement of the foot toward the shins.

10.      Walking strengthens your memory: Walking regularly appears to help specifically bolster the hippocampus, the part of the brain involved in verbal memory and learning. Walking for exercise may become increasingly important as we age, and our risk for dementia and other brain disorders increases. It helps reverse the effects of aging.

Older people who walk six miles or more per week are more likely to avoid brain shrinkage and preserve memory as the years pass. Walking backward helped subjects literally think faster on their feet. Incorporating specific mind-enhancing moves into your workout (such as moving in certain patterns with coordinated arm movements) can also boost the brain benefits of walking.

“When I’m in turmoil, when I can’t think; when I’m exhausted and afraid and feeling very, very alone; I go for walks. It’s just one of those things I do. I walk and I walk and sooner…Later something comes to me; something to make me feel less like jumping off a building.” (Jim Butcher)[i]

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[i] This post is adapted from the following sources:

·       “12 Benefits of Walking” (www.arthritis.org)

·       “5 Surprising Benefits of Walking” (www.health.harvard.edu)

·       “8 Reasons Why Walking Is Great for Your Health” (www.tescoliving.com)

·       “10 Amazing Benefits of Walking” by Jessica Smith

·       “7 Incredible Results You'll Get from Walking 30 Minutes A Day”

by Meghan Rabbitt

 

Who You Are

“Be who you are and say what you feel; because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” (Bernard Baruch)

You cannot afford to lose your individuality (what makes you uniquely you). You being yourself is crucial to your happiness. There are ways to ensure daily that you never forget about yourself. Here are ways to maintain the heart of who you are so that others can appreciate all you have to offer them.

1.  Appreciate the Past for What It Is: With individuality comes a unique past, which you can’t be escaped no matter what you do. If it wasn’t for the past, you would not be the same person that you are today. The past shapes who you are. The present shapes who you will become. Appreciating how far you as a person have come is your key to success.

“I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you're not in this world to live up to mine.” (Bruce Lee)

2.  Check In with Yourself: Once in a while, I “check in” with myself (usually in my journal). I ask myself questions like: Are you truly happy? What are you unhappy with? What can you do to change that? You can ask yourself these questions (or similar ones) once in a while to sort of figure out what you’re missing, and what you can do to fix it.

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” (Stephen King)

3.  Keep Friends and Family Close: Growing up, your friends and your family were the people who helped shape you to become the person you are today. By losing touch with them, you could be at risk of losing touch with yourself as well. Keep in regular contact with them on Facebook, email, the phone, and try to meet with them on a regular basis.

“Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.”  (Harvey Fierstein)

4.  Keep on Dreaming: Having a dream will give you something to build on. Your dreams can only become a reality when you act upon them. Your dreams are yours and yours alone. Keep striving for the things which you want. Being a dreamer will keep the fire burning strong inside you. Dreaming adds variety into your existence.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

5.  Learn to Say No, but In Moderation: You don’t have to say yes to everything people ask. Just try not to say no to everything; particularly things that you haven’t tried before. Keep an open mind by trying new things. You may discover a new hobby you enjoy.

“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe shine through every sentence you write, [and] every piece you finish.” (John Jakes)

6.  Never Forget Your Passions: Your passions give you a individuality of your own. Passions shape you as a person. The harsh reality is that when you do activities that you love less, you love yourself less. This is not feeding a strong and healthy soul. Never forget these are crucial of life.

“Your individuality is the most valuable thing you have.” (Martha Beck)

7.  Set Aside Personal Time: We can get so wrapped up in making sure that everyone else is happy that we often forget to take care of ourselves. Make time to work out, pamper yourself, buy yourself gifts, go out to eat, or go see a movie. Work on your own self-improvement by regularly putting yourself first. You can’t give to others if your emotional and physical self is depleted.

“God enters by a private door into every individual.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” (E.E. Cummings) [i]

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[i] Adapted from: “Simple Ways to Maintain Your Individuality: Relationships and Progress” by Dustin Meyer, “Keeping Your Individuality in a Relationship” (thecoupleconnection.net), and “How to Keep Your Individuality While in a Relationship” by Tami Walker