Friday, June 30, 2017

Use Words

“Go out and preach the gospel. If necessary, use words.” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell)

With our twenty year-old daughter, Allena, there are some things I’ve realized lately. She was the only child we were able to have out of nine pregnancies. The life she’s added to our home has been a blessing. The Almighty gave Allena to Bobbi and me on loan. With the life experiences she’s been through in the last five years. My loving Heavenly Father is asking both her mother and I to trust His will for her life as we give her back (in stages) to the Almighty. 

My biggest act of letting go to my Heavenly Father will happen on August twentieth of this year as my daughter heads off Bethany Global University in Bloomington, MN for a Bachelor Arts degree in her double major of Bible & Theology and Intercultural Ministry Studies.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the statement “my daughter is a missionary to ____.” I am excited in the steps of maturity that will happen inside my daughter this school year at a new college. The distance between her and us is one more act for me of giving Allena back to her true Father. Mentally, that’s as far as I can go. If I picture her in some foreign country, I might just have to start up some heavy-duty crying and snotting (with multiple boxes of tissues).

One day when I will be required to let go of more of my missionary daughter back to the hands of the Heavenly Father; this is what I hope to say. (Please note the letter below has been created and adapted extensively from the two article references listed at the bottom of this post. Though all the language is not my own; the sentiment listed for my daughter, Allena, is exactly how I feel):

Dearest Allena,
Because the Lord loves you, you’ll grow in unrecognizable ways until this life transitions into the eternal one. You’ll acquire new skills and sharpen others you’ve had since you were a child.

You’ll become a fantastic force for God. Your personal growth will become a byproduct of serving Him. I’m so pleased you’ve decided to serve the Lord as a missionary. You pondered, prayed, and listened to His voice. When the Spirit invited you to serve, you said, “Yes.” What more can a dad ask for?

Prayer will become a vital part of your life. Talking to your Heavenly Father will be your lifeline. For your mission to go smoothly (and you to be your happiest), do things God’s way the first time. Apply the lessons He teaches you to your life as soon as possible.

Believe me. This task won’t be easy (physically or mentally). God will open some doors of service, and shut others. You will have to eventually leave your comfort zones to grow. There are both rewards and challenges that await you. Make sure to bathe those you minister to in prayer. They’ll be different than you, but no less worthy of your care. Teach others with both authority and humility (at the same time).

Strangers will become dear friends faster than you realize. You will see people through Heaven’s eyes. Maybe you can’t ignore others imperfections, but you can help change them into an asset. God gives us all different talents, and as long as they are all pointed to Him, it doesn’t matter what the end result looks like. Put the Savior first, and He’ll never forget you. Be yourself because missionaries do not flip a switch, and become something from a handbook.

You have a unique personality (just like the diverse temperaments of those surrounding you). It will be the reason you make the connections you do. Be the best version of yourself possible. Hopefully, your spiritual testimony will help others look past the blunders you are bound to make.

Treat other missionaries as the finest people you’ve ever met (because they are). Always assume the best in others. Run from gossip like it’s the most dangerous plague ever known (because it is). You’re mission isn’t for you, but the Lord. He is guiding your footsteps.

There others you haven’t met yet that will know of Jesus only through you. Isn’t our Heavenly Father miraculous to do this for you? My love for you as your father is indescribable. I wish you only the best in your future (wherever that happens to be in God's mission field).[i]

Love, Dad
“We must be global Christians with a global vision because our God is a global God.” (John Stott)

 
Selfie of our daughter, Allena Kinker
 


[i] Sources used:

·        After 18 Months, Returned Missionary Responds to Dad's Letter: "A Mission Isn't for You" by Oakli Wright 

 

·        https://bethanygu.edu/


·        Letter to Missionary Daughter: "A Mission Isn't for You" by Jason F. Wright

 

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Help Wanted

HELP WANTED: Pastor’s wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward, and choreograph Christmas pageant. Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble, difficult colleagues, demanding customers, and erratic hours. Pay: $0.” (Time Magazine, 3/29/07)[i]

 Try to put yourself in the place of the woman you see seated next to your pastor each Sunday morning. Are their kids struggling because of the pressure the congregation puts on them to be perfect? Maybe they have financial struggles because the church he ministers to pays him can only afford a meager salary. (Many pastors wives choose not to work so they can help their husband’s serve.)

 
“Don’t panic. I’m with you.  There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. ’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” (Isaiah 41:10, MSG) This verse gives pastor’s wives hope with the countless challenges they experience. A leadership position in a church (like a pastor’s wife) draws a giant target for spiritual attack.

If Satan can take down a pastor’s wife, he can at least confuse hundreds of people in a church. Being a pastor's wife is a great honor that often comes at a high cost both physically and spiritually. In a role that is often too much for one woman to bear there is incredible opportunity to serve a pastor's wife in ways that honor, strengthen, and support her. Here are two opportunities to consider for the woman that intimately blesses the minister that inspires you with his teachings from God’s Word.

“Pastor’s wife only because…full time multi-tasking Ninja is not a church title.” (Anonymous)

1.   FlawedThe woman God has called to assist your minister is an imperfect lady. She has a unique calling that only other ministers’ wives understand.  If she forgets your birthday, doesn’t smile at you when you see her at the grocery store, or loses her temper with your kid who just poured blue paint on the head of a little girl whose family was visiting the church (cover it with love).

First Corinthians 13 says, “Love bears all things, believes all things...” Determine to believe the best about your pastor's wife, and make sure she knows you are committed to do so. She is no different than you or anyone else sitting in the pew. She can't serve in every way, be at everything, and remember every single thing. She has struggles, hurts, and insecurities. Sometimes she’ll mess up, and need forgiveness. Don’t expect her kids to be perfect either. Pastor’s children are the same as everyone else’s children.

They will have problems with disobedience, academics in school, and bad attitudes. She is doing the best she can. Believe the best about your pastor’s children. And when they don’t measure up to your expectations, cover it with the same grace you hope someone will offer your own kids when they mess up.

“No one in the church family is more vulnerable than the pastor’s wife. She is the key figure in the life of the pastor and plays the biggest role in his success or failure.” (Pastor Joe McKeever)

2.   PrayPray for your pastor, his wife and his children. They need you to stand in the gap for them in prayer. You can’t do that if you’re constantly critiquing the way they are serving Christ. The Enemy takes her family and the church seriously, and so should we. Love her well by praying for her regularly. Here are some ideas. Pray that her love may actually increase with each betrayal or hateful word. Pray that she would lay down her hurts and heal properly from them.

Then, get back up from her knees and continue to love fiercely, just as Christ has loved us. Pray that your pastor’s wife would have courage to handle conflict resolution with grace and truth. Pray that the Spirit would speak through her knowledge of Scripture, and from the overflow of her heart. Pray that she would create genuine relationships where she can talk honestly. If you aren’t already friends with her, pray how you can make a meaningful connection.

Pray that your pastor’s wife would have a soft heart to see her sin, and courage to confront it. If she ever opens up to you about it, listen. Commit to pray for her regularly to conquer that sin in the name of Jesus. Keep her accountable. She’s just like every other Christian waging war against sin.

“I’m a pastor’s wife (and no I don’t have all the answers).” (Anonymous)

“As a pastor’s wife, I am set up to be an example to the flock. The definition of example is to act in such a way as to arouse the imitation of others. How can people imitate me unless they watch me and evaluate me? Recognizing this basic principle of discipleship helped to change my attitude towards the scrutiny I receive. It has also enforced a discipline in my life that I would probably not have had otherwise.” (Devi Titus, author of Help! I’m a Pastor’s Wife)[ii]


Jean Dinoff (pastor's wife from my childhood church) at the wedding of Bobbi and me in November 1993 (I was 30 and Bobbi was 28. We have been married for 24 years.)



[i] Being the husband of a female pastor means the husband…
1.     Can assist in providing an additional income for the household budget. 
2.     Can balance her ministry as well as to validate each other’s calling in life.   
3.     Can be handymen to aid with small projects in the church.
4.     Does not overshadow his wife in any way, and allows her to freely perform her duties as a pastor.
5.     Is to help his wife in the ministry because they are in this together.
6.     May be employed in a secular setting, and may not be active in the daily operations of the ministry or church. 
7.     Must accept that there are times when he cannot come to his wife’s side to rescue her.
8.     Must accept the fact that his wife has the authority in the church, and he has the authority in the home.
9.     Needs to provide his wife with love and acceptance while she gives him respect.   
10.            Should always encourage his wife through praise.
11.            Should be a sounding board for a wife to think through decisions without being led by feelings and thoughts.
12.            Should be careful how they conduct or talk at church due to others listening. 
13.            Should be friendly to everyone, but also realize that not everyone is his friend. 
14.            Should be the ears and eyes for her as a wife and pastor.
15.            Should develop a way to signal his wife when things are not right.
16.            Should help his wife recognize the dynamics of both the pastorate and family life, and help her provide adequate time to both.
17.            Should help his wife to fulfill her God-given potential. 
18.            Should make suggestions when they are alone (not in front of church leaders). 
19.            Should use his business savvy in assisting with large projects.
20.            Should use his male presence to aid his wife in areas of authority challenges.
 
[ii] Sources used:

·     10 Ways to Serve Your Pastor's Wife” by Jason Johnson

 

·        “4 Simple Things You Can Do to Encourage Your Pastor’s Wife” by Rhonda Stoppe

·        “5 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor’s Wife” by Mikaela Mathews

·        “7 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor’s Wife” By Kathy Houk

·        “Role of a Pastor's Husband” (http://www.pastoralcareinc.com/articles/role-of-a-pastor-s-husband)

·        Ten Ways to Bless and Encourage Your Pastor's Wife” by Rachel Signature

This topic was inspired by a conversation with Rosanna, a Phone Banking Specialist, on Friday, June 23, 2017.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

All Over Again

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day (as if nothing had yet been done). (C. S. Lewis)

A relaxing pastime my wife, Bobbi, loves to do along with our daughter, Allena, is to paint. One of her masterpieces was done into two parts (see finished project below). The lily pads and water were done at an art class at a nearby church.

Part two was initiated when Bobbi realized something more was needed. From a suggestion of mine, the acronym FROG (Fully Rely on God) was added as well as a tiny smiling frog in the corner of the picture. It was now complete.

Have you ever wondered how it’s possible to move from a cute acronym to actually relying on God completely in the reality of your own world? Hopefully, the suggestions below can help:

1.   Acts of Service and Love: The reason we want to overcome these adversities is to be more like Jesus, right? It stands to reason that relying on God’s strength means following the example set by Jesus, God in the flesh. Jesus was a servant. The Son of Man did not come to have others help him. But he came to help others. He came to give his life to make many people free.” (Matthew 20:28, New Testament WE)


If we want to be like Him, we need to work on serving. Most sin is the product of selfishness. If we purposefully get outside of ourselves to serve others, we are letting God attack our selfishness head on. The moment you start serving others, you are doing the exact opposite of sin. Do something for someone else, especially if it is someone who cannot repay you.


2.   Bring the Inside Out: When you find your fellow traveler, learn to bring what is on the inside out. Learn to share the secrets of your heart. The darkness in there will only dissipate to the degree you shed light on it. Tell your sins to each other. And pray for each other so you may be healed. The prayer from the heart of a man right with God has much power.” (James 5:16, NLV)We need to find people we are willing to share these dark secrets with. Otherwise they will simply grow and take over. When temptation hits, find someone to share what you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you are considering. You will be amazed at how this helps defuse the temptation and its power over you.


3.   Conscious Contact with God through His Word: “Now I’m turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.”  (Acts 20:32, MSG)

Don’t read the Bible like a newspaper, Listen to God’s word for the help it is offering. Find passages that help you in certain situations and return to them again and again as needed. God’s Word does give life when we use it as a life-giving connection to God instead of a dead homework assignment.

4.   Cut It Off: “So if your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose a part of your body than to have all of it thrown into hell. And if your right hand leads you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose a part of your body than to have all of it go into Hell.” (Matthew 5:29-30, GW)


If we keep going to the places, hanging out with the people, and interacting with the things that have always led us to sin, then we are relying on our own strength. We think we can follow the same path we’ve always followed but somehow we will be strong enough to play a different game. Relying on God’s strength means cutting off what leads us to sin.


5.   Do the Next Right Thing: Instead, make your top priority God’s kingdom and his way of life and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33, NTE) Relying on God’s strength means simply doing what He tells us to. Listen to His advice, and seek His way. Right now, my responsibility is only to do the next right thing. I don’t have to worry about where it is going to lead. I don’t have to get bogged down with what I’m going to accomplish through it. I simply need to trust God to make everything work out in the end. I don’t have to fret about what will happen tomorrow. Don’t misunderstand that when you rely on God’s strength temptation won’t disappear. God will win the victories (in His time).


6.    Find a Fellow Traveler: Rely on God’s strength means depending on God’s people. Find a fellow traveler. Find someone to walk with, talk with, share with, and confess with. Find someone who knows where you are. Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down,  the other can help him up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help.


If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm. An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NCV)


7.   Give Thanks: “Give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. This is God’s will for all of you in Jesus the Anointed.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, VOICE) Because of sin, bad things are going on and we suffer for it. Why doesn’t God allow things to go our way? Bitterness and resentment can sometimes lead us to turn away from God, and start relying on ourselves. When I’m taking care of me, I always get trampled by the adversities.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received is about writing a gratitude list. Start your day with one. End your day with one. Maybe even in the middle of the day remind yourself with one. On tough days I urge you to write your list down. What are you thankful for today? As I unload all the blessings I have received, I begin to realize God isn’t picking on me. I really don’t have it that bad. Lots of things are going my way.

 
8.   Give Up: The first practical thing you have to do if you want to conquer your adversities is to surrender to God. I am at peace and even take pleasure in any weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and afflictions for the sake of the Anointed because when I am at my weakest, He makes me strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10, VOICE) Only when we recognize we can’t win will we truly give ourselves over to God, and let Him win the victories through us. Many times I’m relying on my strength to get me through the day. I need to do things that will connect me to God because He is strong enough.

 
9.   Pack the Right Bags: “But you must take the Lord Jesus Christ into your hearts. And do not plan to do the wrong things your bodies want to do.” (Romans 13: 14, New Testament WE)  Sometimes the adversities beat us because we rely on our own strength. The fact is if we pack our bags to travel into the flesh, we are going to submit to the flesh. We just aren’t that strong. Rely on God’s strength. This means packing your bags to travel with the Spirit. Consider this example. Going to a buffet is not the same as committing gluttony.

 
Can some people eat at a buffet and not commit gluttony? Yes. What if your temptation was gluttony. Then eating at your local Chinese buffet is going to be packing your bags to walk in the flesh. Don’t spend all your time defending how eating there isn’t a sin. That’s not the issue. If you keep walking into a place where gluttony beats you every time; you are packing your bags to get beat by the adversary. Rely on God’s strength.

10.       Walk in God’s Presence: Always keep on praying.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, TLB)  We need to take prayer to the next level. Instead of praying because it is what you are to do, pray because you are convinced God is right there with you listening. Envision Him as you would a friend that is beside you. Talk with Him because He is there. When God is in our presence and we aren’t talking to Him, it means something is wrong with our relationship. So get up and tell God,

Tell Him anything else that is on your mind in the morning. When you go to bed at night, tell Him, Tell Him anything you need to unload before going to sleep. Talk with Him while you go through your day. Ask Him to help with the decisions you are about to make. It’s hard to do wrong things throughout your day if you first run it by God to see what He thinks about it.[i]

The artist and her husband (Bobbi and me)

The masterpiece


 
For a long time I thought, “I've got to buck up, and be strong. I've got to put on a brave face, and get through this near burn-out or that discouraging time in my life.” God has really seriously changed my thinking on this. When you take off the mask, you relate at a base level to everyone else who has been through pain (and everyone has). Honesty promotes intimacy, and promotes us together relying on God. True honesty is beautiful. (Rebecca St. James)

 



[i] Sources used:

·        “5 More Ways to Rely on God’s Strength to Beat Your Adversities” by

·        “5 Ways to Rely on God’s Strength to Beat Your Adversities” by Edwin Crozier
 
 

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Meaningless

"People think of Heaven as a paradise garden, a place where they can float on clouds and laze in rivers and mountains. But scenery without solace is meaningless." [i]

With the many scripture in the Bible about the topic of Heaven, there are some facts that we can know for sure. Heaven itself is shaped like a cube 1,500 miles high, wide, and long (Revelation 21:16). There are twelve foundations to this city with each layer consisting of a different precious stone. There are twelve gates that surround Heaven with each gate made of one pearl. (Revelation 21:19-21).
The wall surrounding the city is made of a precious stone with the city itself made of translucent gold (this includes the roads). There will be no more sorrow or night because God is the sun that lights this city (Revelation 21:4, 18, 23). For the residence in Heaven communal living will most likely be the housing of choice (John 14:2). There are fruit trees in Heaven on either side of a clear river running through the middle of the city to the throne of God (Revelation 22:1-5).


"This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for."

One of the most unique interpretations of Heaven I’ve listened to on audiobook (and viewed as a TV movie) both are taken from the novel, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom.
An elderly gentlemen named Eddie works as the head of maintenance at Ruby Pier Amusement Park (somewhere by the Atlantic Ocean).On his eighty-third birthday, Eddie dies while attempting to save a small girl from death of a faulty cable on an amusement park ride.[ii]

Upon his entrance into Heaven, he discovers that he will be connected with five people from his past that will help Eddie better understand what his purpose was on earth was.

The five lessons Eddie learns in the next life are important ones for us to remember in this life:

·        “Everything happens for a reason. There are no random events in life. All lives and experiences are interconnected in some way, and even the little things you do can affect other people's lives and experiences dramatically. The human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect."

·        “Sacrifices are a part of life. Everyone makes these sacrifices. Some sacrifices are big, and others are day-to-day small sacrifices, but they all make an impact in other people's lives.”

·        “The importance of releasing anger and granting forgiveness [is] there is always more than one side to a story.”

·        [There is a] power [to] love (even after death). There are multiple forms of love (some stronger than others). Lost love is the strongest kind of love (the kind that can be felt even across enormous distances).”

·        “There's always a purpose for your life. You live for a reason the same way that people die for a reason. Where you are today is a combination of all your past actions, decisions, and the way the people around you have affected you.”

 
Author Mitch Albom


[i] All quotes are from The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
 
[ii] Sources used:
·        “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” Wikipedia
·        Google Answers
 



 
 
 
 
 

 

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