Monday, October 9, 2017

Five Minutes

“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.” (Chinese Proverb)

Are you being judged by the quality of questions you ask? You need to ask the right question at the right time. The wrong question is guaranteed to generate the wrong answer. The right question asked at the wrong time in the wrong context, asked of the wrong person is also of no use.

 
Once you know what kind of information you need and who to ask, you have to ask your questions in a manner that gets the best possible response. Asking amazing questions is a skill that takes practice.

 
As you proceed in your quest for knowledge, remember that asking great questions takes practice. You won’t get it perfect every time, but these skills will improve over time with repetition. Just start asking questions. If you want good answers, they come from asking great questions. Here are some techniques to find out what you want to know.

 
1.   Dig deeper: Always consider using follow-up questions. Unless you are looking strictly for the facts, there is some sort of assumption in the answer the person gives you. Ask them a follow up question such as, “What makes you say that?” or “Why do you think that?” Follow up questions give you insight and let you make your own opinions about things.

 
2.   Don’t ask yes (or no) questions: With an open-ended question, you get insights and additional information you might not have known existed. Questions with “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think” all lead to yes or no. Questions with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” lead to people giving some thought to their answers and provide much more information.

 
3.   Don’t Interrupt: Don’t interrupt the person with whom you are talking. First, it tells the person you don’t value what they are saying. Interrupting stops their train of thought and directs the conversation the way you want; not necessarily the way it should go. Ask your question.

Then let the person answer it in full even when you think you are not getting the answer you want. Listen fully to what they are saying, and use that to direct them back to the topic in the next question when there is a natural pause. If time is of the essence and the person has long strayed from the topic, then of course you need to interrupt. Be as polite as possible when doing it.

This shows the person that you do respect what they are saying. Say something like, “Excuse me, I want to make sure I understand you. What I heard you say is…” and then bring them back on point to the matter at hand.

4.   Use the power of silence: Start getting comfortable with asking a question, waiting for response, listening to the response, and then waiting some more. Many times the person you are questioning has more information, and will bring it out when you wait for it.

You have to be comfortable with that silent period. People feel a need to fill the holes in the conversation and often they will then bring out the critical bit of information you seek.

“Mistakes might not give you answers. But they give you questions for a greater answer.” (Inhisthoughts)[i]




[i] Adapted from: “How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions” by Mike Martel

 

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