How
do you handle life's impermanence (or passing)? Is it a positive or negative
topic to you (as you age)? We can do well with life’s challenges as long
as we are willing to adjust to change, and then move forward. To adjust
to life's impermanence in a healthy way, we must allow ourselves to feel our
feelings, get involved with support groups, talk to people, seek therapy, and truly deal with
the emotions involved.
People
often deal with life’s impermanence by overly involving themselves in work,
becoming addicted to television or the Internet, immediately jumping into
another relationship, or eating excessively. The list of what people do
instead of dealing with life's changes in a healthy way is infinite.
Most
of us don't adjust well to life's impermanence (like death). If we
realize that life is impermanent, and that there's nothing we can do to get
around this fact. We will be better off emotionally. We must flow with
life, adjust to change well, and realize that nothing in this world is guaranteed.
Change
happens to everyone. We need to feel, adjust, and then make the most of
what life has given us. Wallowing in self-blame won't help. We may
have been the cause of the change, but blaming ourselves won't help us to adapt
to it. We can adjust to anything as long as we are willing to let go of
our belief that life has
to go a certain way.
Let's
promise that no matter what life has thrown at us, we will adjust. We
won't be self-critical, we won't stay stuck. We'll feel the feelings of
loss and sadness, and then we'll move on and make the most of our lives with
what we have. When we adapt to life’s impermanence, we’ll proceed better.
When we numb it, life will be more difficult in the future. We must
choose to adapt, because doing so will aid us in the future. Here are six
lessons on embracing change:
1.
Accept change: I desperately tried to prevent and stop
change from happening in my life by trying to forge ahead even in pointless
situations. Instead of resisting, allow change to unfold and try to understand
what’s transforming and why.
Circumstances
will not turn out the way you want them to, and it’s perfectly all right.
Embracing the situation can help you deal with the change effectively, make the
necessary shifts in your life to embrace the change, and help you move forward
after the event.
2.
Acknowledge change: For the longest time, I refused to believe
that change was in the realm of possibility in a situation. I’ve since learned
that change can happen quickly and at any point. Be aware that change can happen
in your life.
This
means understanding that things can, and will be different from how they are
now. Acknowledging change is allowing it to happen when it unfolds instead of
approaching change from a place of denial and resistance.
3.
Embrace
the wisdom: The more you permit impermanence in your life,
the more you grow as a person. Embracing change will bring newfound strength in
your life and more inner peace. When you proactively embrace change and learn
to accept it as a part of life, you are filled with more calmness, peace, and
courage.
When
life fails to shake you up with its twists and turns, you realize that changes
can’t break you. You’ve reached a level of understanding in life that some
might even call wisdom.
4.
Learn from the experience: If you accept and embrace change, you will
start looking for and finding lessons in it. When dramatic changes happens in
life, you can refuse to acknowledge them at first, it can leave you distraught
and without meaning.
Once
you reflect back, and accepted the changes, the lessons you absorb can be
profound. Change becomes your greatest teacher, but only if you give yourself
permission to learn from it.
5.
Recognize you’re growing stronger: When you accept, embrace, and learn from
change, you inevitably grow stronger. The ability to continuously accept change
allows you to become as solid as a rock in the midst of violent storms all
around you even if you feel afraid.
6.
Reduce expectations: You can have reasonable expectations of how
you’d like something to turn out, but you can’t connect yourself to that
result. Reducing or having no expectations about a relationship, a business, or
a situation can help you accept whatever may come from it.
I’ve
learned that nothing lasts forever. When you set reasonable expectations, and
don’t expect a particular outcome, you’re better able to manage any changes
that do come your way.
Unreasonable
expectations of life will likely be met with disappointment. While by no means have we all reached that
place called wisdom, you’re working through your aversions to change. Openly
welcome and embrace it.
When
you can accept change, learn from it, and become all the better for
experiencing it, change is no longer your enemy. It becomes your teacher.
“Life's impermanence (I realized) is
what makes every single day so precious. It's what shapes our time here. It's
what makes it so important than not a single moment be wasted.” (Wes Moore) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“6 Life Lessons on Embracing
Change and Impermanence” by Vishnu
· “Adjusting to the Impermanence of Life” by Robert Puff
Inspired by the Netflix
movie Our Souls at Night (starring Jane Fonda and Robert Redford)
Inspired by the Netflix
movie Our Souls at Night (starring Jane Fonda and Robert Redford)
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